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- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 17, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: .
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What will do now that she's gone?
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You said you'd support me no matter what choice I make. What if I choose to leave?
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What if I decide I'll never see you or anyone again?
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Hello I'm back from my venting in main thread break
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Today has been a good day, mostly. But it's just an outlier. Tomorrow I'll go back to my miserable self. And I don't know how much longer I can continue with this cycle.
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Everybody tries to fix me, but nothing works.
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It's only 49 minutes away for walking...
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Monday sounds good....
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I wanna watch drag race, and I want to do the Easter bunny thing to make gammy happy. And then I have to go to the bridal shower on Sunday. So Monday it is. Maybe I'll wake up at 3AM to walk there.
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Gonna ask my mom to help me clean my room. The last thing you want to be remembered as is a slob
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I'm starting to accept my plan. I don't think I will look back. I will livestream my walk there, and talk about my life, just in case somebody sees it. I don't want them assuming things about my life. I will livestream it all, so everyone can see how it's not as fun as you imagine it in your head. I want people to see the video and remember it when they feel that way, and it will remind them that they don't want to do it.
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I made an alt account, because my friends follow my regular youtube. I don't want them seeing it while it's happening. I don't want anyone witnessing it while it's happening.
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I'll clear everything again on Sunday
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It's not enough. Everyone else has real trauma, and I'm sad for no reason. Everyone would just be happier if they never had to listen to me complain like this again.
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It's just...it's so hard. Every day I fall apart over something. It feels like my whole world is crumbling before me. I just want it all to stop and nothing is working. And I'm trying to hold on like everyone says but I don't know if I can anymore.
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