Drowning In Demons
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 17, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: Drowning In Demons
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I told myself I would not make another one of these threads. But I am so full of evil and anger. I can feel the pain, I am growing more violent.
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After running away I was happy, well as happy as someone could be after being...yep..Happy thoughts...I hope I can at least keep the memories away.
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So...I started a new school. High school. Most people are nice, haven't got bullied yet. Of course I won't be bullied yet, it's my god damn 1st day. Oop...Need to calm down.
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I have so many dreams about my dog, Sasha. I miss her. I don't think I'm suppose to have dreams about everybody on GTQ. But I do, most are about Shadow and Brycen and my dog.
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I think...I'm f---ed up...My heart hurts and while I'm away I feel empty. Emotionless. Hopeless. I am always rolling my eyes and popping off at people.
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Myself said I should pull away and disseppear but I am afraid. Aw, yeah. b---- over here is use to being an outcast so why is this different?
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Mabye I could just act like nothing happened? Not happening, he is already angry. How about I just go die? Okay, you can't die and besides you were afraid to jump in the first place.
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Your funny Angel, I mean everybody reads you like a book. They know everything about you, your not much of a mystery.
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Act like nothing happened? No, Angel, stop hiding. You are who you are. You need to stop changing yourself to make other's happy. You are the leader, the boss. Put your best foot forward.
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You tried to make S happy and instead you became almost emotionless. You were more online and less yourself. Don't do it again, if he can't except you and your mistakes then he does not accept you.
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Mistakes? I am one, wish I did jump. Talking to myself again, awesome. Go crazy, not like anybody cares.
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I haven't seen my true form in a while, mabye...I should try to actually be me. Try not to make other's happy, maybe I wouldn't feel so empty.
Mabye, I feel empty not because B or S is not around..Mabye because I forgot who i was. I shut myself out from pain and others, soon I was just another figure like a mannequin. -
I just lived to die, not trying to be a person just going through the motions of living. Never actually being in my mind, always thinking, moving around.
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I feel better now that I am venting, though I am not sure of who is ready this. I don't put all my problems on the internet. Gotta leave some of them alone, deep in my heart.
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Memories are things that could rip you apart. No need in being strong, they will eat you alive. But some how I have forced myself to forget my memories.
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