Drowning In Demons
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 17, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: Drowning In Demons
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No, only Brycen will understand. I wish he would understand me though. All these thoughts are killing me slowly. What am I gonna do, he says wait but I am slowly going over the edge.
Slipping..And nobody cares. I have been stretched to the thin and I am scared of myself. I don't know if I can control myself anymore, I am trying to let everybody down without tearing them apart.
I have been border lined and I am falling, my thoughts are more violent. I can feel anger everyday, and I allow myself to get introuble on purpose. -
I have to let them down slowly, I don't want to hurt them. I want him to be happy and not hurt, I have no idea's to do this though.
I was in a angry rage this weekend, I almost injured myself outa anger. I can't believe I am still breathing, I should be gone. -
Hey, you ok?
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No, I'm not okay.
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*hugs* is there anything i can do?
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I have said I'm fine for so long, I don't know if I'm me anymore. I keep on wearing this mask to make other's happy. But I'm not happy, I just don't like myself or this life.
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I'm FINE.
Of course I am. Though if you were smart enough you would realize that I am good at saying what is not true. Brycen though is the only one who can really tell when I am trying to make other's feel good. -
Where is the Brycen at?? I have no clue, oh look, I'm talking to myself. Again. Boredom, and sadness.
So, people are you happy now, I have done your work so can you like stop yelling at me. -
i've always known that you were never fine, but i just never knew how to help. whenever i asked you, you always said that there was nothing i could do, so at one point, i just stopped asking. i'm smart angel, i know when you're lying about their feelings like that
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I have done it for so long that when you ask me if I'm okay its a automatic lie, "I'm okay" is my automatic thought and response.
I can't help but be so use to having my walls up they become my shelter and prison. -
yeah, i understand. i'm sorry, i know you're going through so much.
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My walls have become the thing that eats away at me, they keep me from hurting people but also from being close to people. I can make you think we are tight or that we have like nothing in common.
I have grown to always wear the mask of happiness. I can't help but be able to smile and say everything's okay even when I just don't wanna be alive. -
You know what I hate? When someone wants to fight me and then they show up with a weapon. Like seriously, I want to keep my finger's. But no, I guess you didn't want to tell me or I would have brought one too.
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Let's go, time to vent about how much I hate myself. Fun right, so lets do this. How about how Brycen seems to be doing pretty good while I am legit banging my head on the wall of my bedroom.
Or how everywhere I looked there was his name being written in the sky or in the sand. What the f---, like can I look at the sky without his name popping into the sky in red writing. -
Angie, if you're ever feeling down then trust me, you're not alone. Me and Cinna want to be here for you, so please reach out when you need us.
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