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- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 30, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: .
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So, it is not a concern that needs to have a concern.
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f--- off.
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Well, I should return to such a schedule at some point yet i have but to find the motivation to do so at this time. It is difficult, understandably. Perhaps, I am waiting.
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It truly, does not matter.
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I tried. I truly tried, with all of them.
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I suppose, it was all in vain though and yet, there is something awfully hilarious about that too.
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I do not like being the center of attention.
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There is a lot on my mind, I feel these thoughts begin to intermingle with one another. It is, yet, a chore to dismantle the knots that it creates. I do yearn for it to perhaps become easier, to understand. One day, perhaps.
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Stop tearing at it. Breakfast, I suppose.
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Well, reality is false. So, at least, that is comforting.
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Perhaps that is ignorance again.
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Beyond disgusted.
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The feeling that everybody despises me is rather prominent. Even if they spoke it to my face, I feel certain that not a single being truly enjoys my company. Well, she keeps me away from other people now too, because I am mentally unwell. I do not understand it myself, I am sick, not a danger nor a threat. It is simply mental illness. She does not understand that. So I do not really speak with anybody outside of this world. The internet. I cannot really communicate with those who are okay from the family, she keeps me away and I do not understand why. She does not trust me? It is mental illness, not a monster. So I stopped letting them speak to me, not because I dislike it but rather they are confused as well and they ask me why she is behaving that way and I do not understand why either. It is easier to say I am simply too busy to see them. Truthfully, her own beliefs are damaging them. Yet again I have to keep her under check by playing along with this behaviour and not speaking with them. So, I am isolated.
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Well, I know why. She demonizes me always. Now she believes she has a reason to do so. Everybody is confused and I am constantly having to be the one to soothe these issues over.
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Well, it does not matter. People are fleeting and one day I too, shall no longer matter. So it is all but unimportant.
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