A Vent Thread

• Locked due to inactivity on Feb 4, '21 3:54am

Thread Topic: A Vent Thread

• VENTACCOUNT Junior

  4 years ago
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  Me and him got into an argument today. He yelled and was being really disrespectful. I completely shut down. It made me think of them, and the times they would yell at me. Memories come flooding back, things that I had forgotten. Then he tells me I always complain and vent to much. I don't talk to anyone but him about what's bothering me, so I don't know what to do. I feel like a bothersome sack of meat and bones.
  I wanted to do it today. I still do. I feel hollow on the inside. Normally, I would think about how the people around me would be effected; but I am not that important. I doubt anyone would miss me. I already lost a relationship with everyone on my dad's sode of the family. Me and my mom were just now starting to form a relationship, but that isn't going well due to my step-dad being an ass. At this point I have nothing to lose. I just want happiness. I want a home that no longer exists. I want peace.
• VENTACCOUNT Junior

  4 years ago
  My depression has gotten worse.
  I don't know how to handle myself anymore. On days like today, I really want to end it. I feel like no one would miss me anyway. I f---ing hate myself. I hate my past. I hate the s--- that I had to go through that constantly replays in my mind.
  I hate the fact that I am seen as prideful and egotistical, when I'm not. I just want to f---ing disappear into a wall to crawl into the floor.
  I am so tired of living. People's expectations of me are too much. I can't live up to those, while I myself am stuggling to even breathe. I keep pushing forward, but honestly; it is going to end eventually.
  I hadn't even planned on making this far.
• VENTACCOUNT Junior

  3 years ago
  How do I even express myself, and free myself when I feel like an amalgamation of everyone I've ever met? I feel like not a single part of me is original. I want to be someone that is an inspiration, but all I can do is lie in bed all day; procrasttinating what could have been, and what I could do better. I can't even look at myself anymore, because when I look at a mirror, or try to take a picture I see the me from three to four years ago. When I look at myself, all I can see is pain amd false confidence. I am a person who will probably never be able to do what they want. Or even have the money to do want they want.
  I want a better future than my parents had, but depression and anxiety both are kicking my ass. Body dysmorphia has been really bad. I don't know how to fix this. Therapy is to expensive...and if I try to talk to the people around me, it gets bothersome. I understand people have their own things going on, and that's okay. I am just tired of dropping eberything I am doing for people who don't even care about me.

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