so ig this fits here
- Locked due to inactivity on Oct 1, '18 3:54am
Thread Topic: so ig this fits here
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I was planning to kill myself Monday, and I just wasn't thinking? I had a huge crash and just did not want anything to do with anyone or anything. (I was diagnosed with MDD, GAD, and social anxiety in May. I'm on medication but still struggle.) My mom took me to the ER, and they did some tests on me and had someone transport me eventually to the place. (after a tOn of paper work)
For anyone that doesn't know what it's like:
-My transporter (in my case, a deputy) had a "policy" where I couldn't bring any of my belongings that the ER had told my dad to gather and bring for me. I was sOOO angry because I didn't get my stuff until the next night.
-I was searched and (TMI hahaha) had to pull my underwear down to my ankles, squat, lift my bra up, and shake it out to show I wasn't hiding anything I could hurt myself with.
-There's a list of things you can't have that they give you at the ER. Some examples were like cowboy boots and wired bras.
-They took my blood twice. The first time was because they test for more things than the ER does, and they also did a urine sample for the same reason. I had to do it again the next day because they found abnormalities. I most likely have a hyperactive thyroid.
-I had to remove my shoe laces and all strings from my pants and my hoodie because they don't want us to hang ourselves. I also had to take my earrings out.
-They check all hygiene things for alcohol. If alcohol is an ingridient in the product, you can't have it, and it's locked away. They didn't let me use my conditioner because of this. All of your hygiene stuff has to be new and unopened with a receipt too.
-You have to keep your door open at all times when you're in your room because they check on you every fifteen minutes to make sure you're alive and well. Your door is locked when you're not in there.
-There's no door to the bathroom. It's a curtain.
-The mattress to the bed is a basically a thick kinder mat, and the sheets are sOOO thin.
-They do surveys of your mood and how you're feeling throughout the day as well as take your vitals in the morning.
-You can't have any electronics.
-I had to wake up around 6:00 AM, and lights were out at 9:30. Meds were administered beteeen 8:00 and 10:00 PM although they aimed for 9:00 PM.
I learned a lot from the place. Although the first day was dIFFICULT, I got to know the other patients and staff and got a lottt more comftorable with my surroundings. I learned a lot about healthy coping mechanisms and other things. I grew a lot. As much as the place helped me, I really don't wish to go back. -
I'm sorry. It sounds terrible. I hope everything is okay at the moment at least
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Listen, I know I don't know you very well, but please don't kill yourself or harm yourself. You are worth more than you know. I've been through depression and wanting to commit suicide, but there is hope. Real hope. Not the empty hope this world offers.
This is the main reason I came back to GTQ. I don't want to see anymore death. -
Idontexist NewbieYou were only there for a few days tho. When your their for 3 months with no outside contact you really dont know whats real anymore
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I'm coping better at the moment. I have an appointment to hopefully get on medication for my thyroid on Monday which could really improve my mental state.
Bun: Everything is better than what it was at the moment. Again, I'm coping.
Anastasia: Thank you for returning and for your concern. I'm doing better.
Idontexist: I'm thankful I got out as quick as I did. The minimum required stay was at least three days. -
I'm glad. I'm always here to listen if anyone needs help. Also I hope your thyroid gets better. :3
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I have HypoThyroidism and I'm sorry to say you'll have to take the medication for the rest of your life. It sucks.
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Thank you. You're appreciated. ☺
Did it improve your wellbeing? -
Yeah, I'm not as tired anymore. The medication takes a month to get into your system. So you won't see an improvement right away. And it may give you a headache for the first week or so. But after that you'll feel better
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That was very informative, I guess I never thought of what happens when they stop you in the act.
It also sounds hard, I am glad you feel like it was helpful in the end! -
That's really insightful. Thank you for your input. I appreciate it.
Thank youuuu ☺☺☺ -
Mental heath update I guess(?)
My doctor took me off of my antidepressant (Zoloft) because he was afraid it was what had caused the suicidality, and I can't get another antidepressant until I see the psychiatrist which isn't until the 30th. (Suicidality was the reason I went to the mental hospital.) I don't take meds to go to sleep anymore either. I actually think I'm going crazy because I had three panic attacks last night, and I can feel more coming my way for tonight. I fee awful, and I'm scared to tell anyone around me because I don't want to go back to the mental hospital. My head is really fogged, and my anxiety is through the roof. I don't know what to do. -
Also thyroid update
They lost my blood work from the mental hospital, so I had to go back to my regular hospital to get more blood work done since they're the ones that are going to treat my thyroid. They said we would get results back in an hour and would get a call from them, but it's been four(?) days. -
I would rather tell someone how I am feeling instead of going through it alone. That can cause more problems for you then you realize. Especially if you are in a fragile state of mind. Talking about it could make you feel better.
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I was told that I need to go back to the hospital by my doctor if thoughts of suicide continue or if I have uncontrollable/overwhelming anxiety. (like now because I've had multiple panic attacks) My friends know this and could easily contact a parent of mine to send to me back to the hospital. I don't want that, so I feel sort of trapped.
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