I really need advice
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 1, '18 3:54am
Thread Topic: I really need advice
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So, my friends father recently passed. How? I don't know, and there was a suicide a few weeks back in my grade, and I'm scared it might happen again. I'm scared of losing her. How can I help her heal?
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Don't worry I'll leave after
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Be there for her
offer her your shoulder and show sympathy. If possible try to spend more time with her to take her mind off it. the best you can do is offer your full support for her.
(side note. Wow your alive.) -
I just don't know how. I don't want to talk about it and push her over the edge, but I also don't want to ignore it and have that push her over. So should I give her a few days to mourn and then start spending time with her? Or just try at the beginning to occupy her time?
(Yeah. Part of me felt bad I left in such a rude manner, but that's whatever now) -
I think that you should let her come to you on her own time. Give a few days to herself, and then just be there for her. Start with small talk, kinda avoid the subject while it's still fresh. Often, the best way to help is to not say anything. Go visit her, just give her a hug, play a game together. Maybe if you have some kind of special memory or pastime, share that with her. Let her know she's loved, and you can't go wrong
BUT SERIOUSLY ON A SIDE NOTE PAIGE WHERE THE f--- DID YOU GO OMG IT WAS ABSOLUTE TORTURE TO BE OFF GTQ AGAINST MY WILL FOR OVER A YEAR AND THEN WHEN I FINALLY GOT BACK YOU WERE GONE I MISSED YOU LIKE HELL YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT DID TO ME PAIGE YOU SERIOUSLY ARE MY BEST FRIEND EVER DON'T LEAVE AGAIN PLEASE
why tf was this all caps lol -
Alright. Thanks for the input guys.
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I lost my dad very unexpectedly last year, I spoke to him on the phone one day and literally the next morning he was gone. It is very difficult to have to go through that. The one thing I hated was people saying meaningless things to me. Well at least I though they were meaningless. Things like "he's in a better place" or "he is with God now". I just wanted someone to tell how angry they were that he was gone, because I was angry. I was so mad. He didn't need to be in that "better" place. He needed to be here with me. But mostly I just wanted someone to just sit silently with me and let me talk about him. Let me cry an ugly, snotty loud sobbing cry and not tell me how I was expected to feel. I just wanted someone who would just sit there, and say nothing. Because that goes a lot farther than "he's in a better place". Just knowing someone is close in case I needed them, was a big deal for me. Because at the end of the day, the people who said they would be there "anytime for anything" were not. After a week or 2 everyone acted like he never was there and that bothered me.
So just sit there, and let her talk about it, or cry about it or just sit silently. But don't tell her how she should feel. Because she won't know how to feel. -
Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate it.
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