Explosion of feelings
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:27pm
Thread Topic: Explosion of feelings
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So people keep coming to me with their problems. Like, depressed and suicidal people spill out their guts, tell me their life stories, and ask me for help.
They all refuse to get professional help and rely solely on me. I would go to our school to get them help, but the only time I did that it ended up with only more pain and suffering for everyone.
So, I am the only one that ever truly listens to anyone, apparently. These people keep coming to me and telling me how great I am and how much I helped and so on and so forth. They thank me for saving their lives and being there through the worst part of their life, whole nine yards.
But the minute I need to vent, no one is there. Suddenly everyone has something better to do and I'm just being self-centered and looking for pity.
So basically, I'm who you go to when you cut so much you can't get the smell of blood out of your nose. And don't worry, it's okay to ignore my scars, ribs, and self-loathing, because I care too f---ing much about other people.
I hate myself. I tried talking to my mom about it, but apparently I was just being this "self-pitying, snotty, drama queen" who needs to grow up.
Why can't I f---ing get help? -
I will help you. Tell me your problems, I'll listen
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f--- them, I'll listen.
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Basically, I've been bullied ever since I can remember. I care more about other people than I do myself, so I sacrifice myself to help others. People quickly learned to take advantage of that, so I'm constantly taken advantage of, but I don't have the heart to not help out. When my mom couldn't handle me coming home from school crying like a three year old who lost her binky, she went to the school to have the bullying situation taken care of. Unfortunately, this only caused the bullying to shift from an obvious, in my face form of abuse to an anonymous, letters written in your desk (and now locker) that include every hateful phrase anyone could ever think of form. Through these notes, I have been told that I am ugly, worthless, dumb, stupid, idiotic, fat, queer, untalented, weird, and a freak. Due to a vitamin deficiency that has been passed on to me through genetics, I developed acne at the early age of nine and still have it to this day. It's all I see when I look in the mirror (besides the enormous loads of fat hanging everywhere on my body). People have left coupons for countless acne cleansing products in my stuff, many of which had attached notes the contain something along the lines of, "use this to fix your face so it won't be as ugly." People "accidentally" bump into me constantly whenever they have the chance, then they walk away laughing and pointing like it's the funniest s--- in the world. I'm bisexual, and since I attend a very catholic all girls school, most people avoid me in case they catch my "disease" or get raped (because I apparently lack the self-control that I need to contain myself and my sinful hormones). My own parents tell me I suck at the only things I love (art, singing, and dance) along with several of my peers. I'm forced to go into a "real" career instead of pursuing an art degree. I'm so fat I shouldn't be allowed to eat, because no matter how much I weigh I still have fat on my arms, legs, and chin. I have horrible nightmares every night. I hate myself and no one gives a damn,
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Oh, rascal Come here *pulls you into a hug*
Please remember that kids only bully to make themselves feel better; those kids think they are ugly, worthless, dumb, stupid, idiotic, fat, queer, untalented, weird, and a freak, therefore putting you down puts them "up". Plus they have nothing better to do with their lives.
I understand how that feels to have your parents say that :( Thats what mine tell me, so I understand how this must feel to you :'(
I'm so sorry to hear this; I know it must be hard :(
Please remember that I'm always here for you, rascal :) -
Thanks....that really means a lot to me
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On my God, I'm so sorry. I wish there was more that I could do, but all I can tell you is that I'm absolutley positive they're wrong. You are a beautiful person, I'm sure you're a great artist too. Those kids and your parents are wrong!!
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You are cool,dude. Don't listen others
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Sorry to hear about that. Have you ever considered the option of moving schools?
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Dude. I think, you are like me
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My parents won't let me leave this school.
And thanks, guys. *cries because you guys rock* -
One day, I tell you, one day you will get out of your town, will pursue your own career, and finally find someone that will love you, cherish you, and care for you, as much as the people an this site do.
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Maybe I'll meet you guys lol
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