Alright, I'm doing the recording thing.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:26pm
Thread Topic: Alright, I'm doing the recording thing.
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Right now, it's almost 9 PM PST. Post whatever you'd like me to say, and I'll record it at 9 PM PST tomorrow night. If you have something you DON'T want me to say, put it in parenthesis.
(Keep in mind though that I will not record profanity or vulgarity.)
Alright... Go! -
Giggity Quagmire!
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Alright, so, first you gotta meet me in the ally, come alone, come unarmed, bring the uh, goods...
(Say in brooklin gangsta voice) -
Okay, this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp, I mean a friggin orangutan. Don't ask me how you're gonna get a friggin orangutan, because that's not my problem.
So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable; all orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why that is, it's just how the world works. So, you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You're seen everywhere together, you make the scene. you and friends go out in big groups. you talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. it gets back to her.
"Did you know that guy with the orangutan?"
"You used to date that guy with the orangutan?"
"Why'd you break up with the guy with the orangutan?"
Next thing you know, she's calling.
"I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?"
"Geez, I dunno; me and Clyde were going to go to a monster truck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact, the whole social calender seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh, well, you know, you have my number so don't be a stra-- Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's making Mojitoes."
At this point the upper hand is yours. you can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. you're IM-ing. you're talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You're one big Brady Bunch. -
I like cats. Omg no, I like cake. Cake is boss. Are dogs boss? Rabbits are boss. NO WAIT PANCAKES. Pancakes are all up and sexy. Sexy is my middle name. Herbert's is Moo. Cows go Moo. That starts with M. M meand meow. Did I tell you that I like cats? (Hyper. Not too slow or fast.)
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(Can you do this is a british accent? xD)
I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out. Now the skillful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic.It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones. -
Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. MEOW.
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ROCKSTARRRRRRRRRE
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A random australian dude told me and my friends this paragraph once and we were laughing like hell...I can't tell whether it was because of his australian accent or the way he told the joke so you give it a shot...
"I heard once that there was a man with no name called Dork. He stole an empty car full of apples. He bumped on a dead bull and killed it. A blind and crippled man saw this and went to report it to an officer. When he got to the police station, he saw the officer talking to his deaf wife who was eating hot chips from the fridge...
And then I was at a meeting once and I heard this...
Good morning Ladies and Jellyfish. Today I want to tell you something I know nothing about. There is going to be a ladies meeting for men. Please come with your best clothes if you don't have any. Admission free- $10" -
i forgot to do this omg i'll do it now
starting to record ok -
Done! -
OH I WAS TOO LATE
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NO I'M LATE D:
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