Don't mind me.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:24pm
Thread Topic: Don't mind me.
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I am a social disaster. Starting off with friends, I'm a person who genuinely cares about everyone, I'm just not very good at my actions. I'm always either too friendly or not friendly enough. I go through periods of high social interaction, to times I just want to dig a hole and hide. I always worry whether I'm being a good enough friend or the stupid things I do are adding up too much. Still, even if I don't text often or am there for everything, I still truly care.
I've moved a lot in my life, that means I've made a lot of friends but it's hard to stay in touch and everything. I only really knew them for short periods of time and then I had to leave again. I never grew up somewhere where I knew everyone and grew up with them. So my relationships with people can be a bit choppy at points. Honestly, most of my friends around my age I talk to via the internet. In my real life I'm really close to my parents. They're the closest that I have to long lifetime friends.
Plus, through all of this, I've come up with so many "imaginary friends" and fictional characters in my mind because 1)I like to make stories and 2)It gets lonely. I like them, and I wish they were actually real.
But back to social issues, in real life I am very kind and sweet when talking to strangers, and when I'm around people I trust I'm still kind, but I let my guard down a bit and show my real self. I really do care, but I have trouble keeping a balance sometimes. I get distracted easily. I have a lot of things I need to work on, but my intentions are good.
So how I would translate this to my online life, I would say I love all of you dearly, and I'm sorry if I'm not around a lot, I haven't kept up on certain things, or if I'm just generally a b---- sometimes. I'm messed up, but I'm trying to work on my faults. Sorry I'm an idiot sometimes. ;3; -
You aren't an idiot. I'm a social disaster too, so you aren't alone.
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Hmm, that's a lot to think about. I guess all I can really say is that I'm sorry you feel that way. But as far as social disasters go, I'm about as bad as anyone. I can definitely empathize with you. I always try to go out on a limb for people, to keep an open heart, but I feel like it only goes so far because the fact of the matter is that I really just don't know how to connect with people. I don't really know what kind of advice to give you really, because I'm basically at the same crossroads myself. I don't know whether to embrace the world and learn to deal with being hurt or to shut out the world to avoid the hurt. I've done the latter for a long time, and it really took a toll on me. Generally I think it is a bad idea to try and convince yourself that you don't need friendship or intimacy. But at the same time, if you seek either one, there will be people who hurt you. I guess it is up to you to decide if you are strong enough to take the pain.
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i still lurves you bekah :3
and who needs people? how bout me and you...along with our sweet hearts become hermits who live in the same house...on the beach :)
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