Tell A Joke!
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:16pm
Thread Topic: Tell A Joke!
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I don't expect to be performing anytime soon, but I could easily win a award for the worst jokes ever told. On the other hand they are quite clever.
Two olives were on a table, Olive 1 and Olive 2. Olive 1 rolled off and cried out, 'Ouch!'
Olive 2 asked,'Are you alright?'
Olive 1 replied,'Olive.' -
lol thats funny xD
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This could possibly be cringe worthy or laughable, or both.
A ketchup bottle and a mustard bottle were running a marathon. The mustard was in front and the ketchup was lagging behind. The mustard looked behind and yelled out, 'Ketchup!' -
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
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i dunno how does he?? :D
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In little Nazis.
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Here's one.
A certain little girl when asked her name, would reply "I'm Mr Sugar Browns daughter" Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say "I'm Jane Sugarbrown"
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday school and said "Aren't you Mr Sugarbrowns daughter? With her mother standing just a few feet away the little girl replied, "I thought I was but Mummy says I'm not" -
Another
A first grade class is having a game of Name the Animal. The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked what animal in this? Susan shouted "A Cat". "Good Job now what is this?"
And the teacher held up a picture of a dog then Susan went "A Dog".
"Excellent now what animals is this?" She asked holding up a picture of a Deer. The whole class fell silent. "It's what your mother calls your father" she hinted.
"A H*rny B**tard!" Shouted Little Johnny -
LMAO, I liked the last one XDDDDD
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Heres 1 joke, i dont know if its funny... It sorta, doesnt make sense. And long... Here goes:
A boy is at school, and the teacher tells him, "go and learn the 12 time-table, as h/w, i will test u tomorrow". So the boy goes home, he needed help in learning the time-tables.
He goes to his sister's room, finds her putting make-up and asks, "whats 12x2?". The sister screams "shut up!". The boy writes this down and goes to his brother...
His brother was watching tv. "whats 12x3?" asked the boy. The brother replies, "superman!". So, the boy writes it down...
The boy looks around and saw his mom going into the toilet. He asks, "whats 12x4?". The mom replies "honey, im in the toilet". So the boy writes it down...
Then the boy is on his way to the shops, when he sees his dad getting into a car with another woman. Before he leaves, the boys asks, "whats 12x5?". The dad replies, "come on baby, lets go". So the boy writes it down...
In dinner, the boy says, "so, how do i remember the time-table?". The dad replies, "when the teacher says anything, just read what they gave u, u will pass..."
So, at school the next day, the teacher asks, "whats 12x2?". The boy replies, "shut up".
"what? Who do u think u are?". The boy replies "superman!".
The teacher says, "where were u when u were learning these things?" the boy replies, "honey, im in the toilet".
The teacher says "do u want to go to the headmistress?". The boy replies, "come on baby, lets go"... -
A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister oulled his hair. "Don't be angry" the mother says "Your little sister dosen't realize that pulling hair hurts". A short while later, there's more crying, and the mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says... "Well now she knows!"
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Lol @Kishs joke
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A small boy was lost, so he want to a policemen and bawled "I've lost my dad" The cop bent down to the kid and said really nicely "Alright don't cry, what's he like?" the kid sniffles "Beer and Women"
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A guy walks into a bar and says 'ouch.'
Crickets chirping?
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