~Love and Deepspace~
- Locked by Br0wnieBunny on Aug 31, '24 9:31pmReason: owner request
Thread Topic: ~Love and Deepspace~
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I fell asleep on his heartbeat...
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Wonder if I'll be okay.
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I accidentally slept all day. I didn't feel good. Might've been my body trying to fight the infection. I don't know.
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I just felt completely drained. I still feel tired. I'm really juat waiting for dinner so I can go back to sleep. But, I'm worried I might not be able to sleep since I slept so much already.
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I think I'll be okay, though. Not talking about sleep. The other thing. I really don't know if I'll sleep. We'll see.
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I don't know. I want to believe that I'll be okay, but the moment I do, there's a sinking feeling that I won't be so I immediately want to take it back.
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Weird. All my friends both online and Irl just startrst messaging me out of the blue? Is my subconscious despair that loud?
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I just stop saying everything going on with me though because I don't want to sound like I'm complaining or trauma dumping or whatever.
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That's why I just talk to myself these days. That and I don't really know how to be normal enough to socialize.
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But I also stop interacting because it's draining to keep saying I'm fine when I'm not. I say I'm fine to be polite. That's what everyone expects to hear. "I'm fine," and then you move on.
It is mentally destructive for me to say I'm fine over and over when customers ask. -
My brain has been overthinking things all day. It's also been messing up my memory. Why do I keep getting false memories?...
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All day I kept thinking someone blocked me because I did something to them. In reality, they didn't block me or unfriend me. I unfriended them when I left the server because it didn't make sense to stay friends when I wasn't there anymore and we weren't really close. I was worried I did something or he had something against me. At least I didn't react off this incorrect memory this time...
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I was sad and lonely today. I feel a little bit better after playing with my friends.
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I want to play Minecraft until I fall asleep, but, it's too lonely to play by myself.
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Some games just feel weird to play alone.
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