*-throwing up roses-*
- Locked by The Coldest Sun on Apr 20, '23 1:26pmReason: Locked at creators request.
Thread Topic: *-throwing up roses-*
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yeesh she comes home and instant yelling. about food she bought that doesn't fit. I'll never complain about a bunch of food, unless there's so much that it literally can not be eaten before it all goes bad. oh and all of it is meat. like sausages, bacon, bigger sausages, ribs, etc. no milk. no bread. no vegetables. just. f---ing. meat. so much that it doesnt fit in the freezer and she gets mad at me.
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good morning!
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cleaning up and it is not fun
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gm
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I think its time
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happy late birthday, if you're reading this
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i just want a cigarette before i go
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I cant remember or find it. good. i just want to forget it entirely. but that'll never happen.
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today was certainly a day. good and bad happened, in that order, now im just kinda here
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i need help from someone. i cant trust myself right now and i dont feel safe
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its gotten worse. so much worse. i found an old razor and i dont have anyone i can talk to. i mean i do, but they're going their own s---. i dont want to burden them.
I've been reminiscing so much lately. thinking about the past, reflecting on my actions. i really did treat you like s---. and im sorry for that. but you'll never accept that apology, and you'll never apologize to me. not really. things have been so hectic i miss you a lot, and i miss when we were together. I miss before i became your favorite person to hate, and i miss you being happy to see me. there's so much i miss about you and i hate myself for feeling this way, but at the end of the day I'm only human. and for my health, it's best that you stay the villain. you made it impossible for me to empathize with you or understand your actions. as much as i still love you, i do have a deep hatred for you. how dare you? i was a human too. i AM a human. and though i am no longer a man, that doesn't diminish my worth. infact it increases it. I'm happy now more than i ever was with myself, and i still experience distain and discomfort but at least it is all me. nobody to make happy. nobody to hug every day. nobody to tell me goodnight and good morning when i need to hear it. i genuinely hope he makes you happy. but leave me alone. stay out of my head. stay out of my songs. stay the f--- out of my life. i want to live and I can't do that being constantly reminded of how much i hurt you. how much you hurt me. how much you don't care, how much effort you expended to lie to people about who i was and what i did. you'll never know how much you ruined me. come graduation, I can move on finally and never have to see you again. and if i do, I'll be happy and content. a beautiful woman who steals the breath of all who gaze. or, I'll be dead. because i couldn't take it anymore. the lonliness and the imposter syndrome. the putrid, reeking stench of self hate. this febreeze isn't going to last long. -
i just wanna go and cry
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i have to do this. right? i mean its for the sake of my mental health, i can't stand this so its okay if i lose a friend. a friend who's barely there anyway and wouldn't be affected. its fine. yes, fine. they'll be better without me, just like everyone else. im sorry for disappointing and hurting so many of you. im sorry for the unrest and unease i caused. those i upset, and those i offended. i wanted to be better, and i wish i was. for all of your sake as much as mine. im sorry for what i stole, and what i broke. money and glue can never fix those, but an apology is the right direction. it can never truly be fixed, but scars can heal. i know. maybe this time it'll work in my favor, and maybe this time will be different. i have the strength, i have the courage. i simply have to have the will. and hopefully i can muster that up. now i must make a decision.
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cooffffeeeee
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I just want to be a thick bad b---- but thats never going to happen
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