My name is Road.
- Locked due to inactivity on Oct 22, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: My name is Road.
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No, I don't mind. Anything helps.
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Okay. This is gonna be a long one, probably, and I apologize in advance.
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Of course. it's happened.
I dont like being in the car or truck. He usually drives fast, goes all over the road, off the road. He has never wrecked into another car though, thankfully. Havent been in there as well whenever its happened.
He usually gets it back working, when he does wreck though. His cousin is a mechanic, my uncle was a mechanic, his side of the family knows a lot about cars and things so, yeah. Cars, electricity, plumbing. Theres someone he may know who could help with it all lol
He, himself, works on the big trucks. What you may see hauling chickens, chicken litter, things like that, as well as tractors and things of tha nature. -
I was bullied throughout my middle-high school career. I had read Warriors as a small child, and found a friend group in elementary school that also liked the series. We played Warrior Cats during recess, devising dramatic little stories and running around hissing at each other, meowing at our peers. Being kids, and that was fine then.
When you move from elementary school to middle school, it really doesn't feel like that big of a change. One summer has passed, that's all. But I guess, for a lot of kids, it really does make a big difference. I think once they're out of elementary school, a lot of kids feel like they need to assert their identities, like how they act once they're in middle school will determine their position on the social ladder, right?
I didn't see it that way. My friends stopped, but for the first semester of middle school, I kept playing Warriors. I kept meowing at people, and curling up on the mats in the gymnasium, and hissing at people that were mean to me. And there were a lot. I made myself an easy target, and the bullying continued throughout middle and high school.
People respond to being bullied in different ways. I was deeply sad throughout my school career. I felt alone, and like nothing I did would make anyone like me. I didn't feel like I deserved love. But being sad didn't get me any results, so I covered that up with rage. I assumed a resting b---- face bordering on homicidal, I was mean, I was violent, and I didn't let myself get seriously attached to people because most of the time they were just playing with me, waiting for me to say something cringey so they could go back to their friends and laugh. I brought my rage here for a long time, too, and as you might have seen yesterday, I'm still dealing with the repercussions of that. I wasn't a nice person, but when people realized I would hurt them, they started to leave me alone, at least, and that was all I wanted.
One day, in Senior year, I got invited to something called Challenge Day. Apparently, one of my teachers had ratted me out as a troubled teen that needed help making friends. The idea of Challenge Day was to get a bunch of angry, sad kids together in the gym and make them talk about their feelings.
I went, only because it was a day off of my classes. When I entered the gym, there was a line of teachers on either side of the door, extending all the way to the middle of the room, all cheering and holding their hands out for high fives from the kids that were taking part. We did a lot of weird games.
Three things from Challenge Day stuck with me.
1. We did an activity where the teacher would talk about a situation, and if it applied to you, you stepped across the line. The people on the other side of the line, to which the situation did not apply, then held up their hands in the sign language gesture for love. I remember them saying "Cross the line if you've ever been hit. Ever, by anyone." Of course I crossed the line. I'd been hit by other students, I'd been hit by my siblings, and I'd been hit by my mother. I thought that was a pretty universal experience right up until that day. I crossed the line. So did about five other kids out of the hundred or so in attendance. I'd made myself stop crying in school to avoid making myself weak or vulnerable in the eyes of my peers since the bullying had started, but I bawled my eyes out at the realization that violence wasn't a normal part of a child's life.
2. At the end, students were given a chance to take the microphone and address the room. A kid I had always treated as an enemy, someone I thought was popular and therefore Out To Get Me, took the mic and explained tearfully how he'd been bullied throughout his life for having two dads. I was devastated to think that someone I knew, however faintly, was in so much pain and I had been so caught up in my own problems that I not only failed to notice, but actively stereotyped and resented him.
3. I took the mic that day, too. I explained that I felt hopeless, like no one would ever care for me, and how my parents always told me that I had to fix my own problems before I could save anyone else. I told them I didn't think I was worth saving, or that being saved was even possible for me, but that I would devote all of my being to being there for anyone that needed it. I told them no matter our history, I was dropping all of my grudges and starting over. I asked them to come to me if they ever needed someone to talk to, or someone who understood their pain. And I did.
Challenge Day had been attended by a handful of my bullies. I noticed very quickly that after forgiving everyone in that room, everyone in that school, the bullying stopped almost dead. Even people that weren't there that day either left me alone or suddenly became weirdly friendly with me. My life in school was hellish, but that last year, after finally accepting that I wasn't the only person who felt isolation and pain, and extending my love to everyone, I enjoyed in peace. -
I told you it was going to be a lot, and I wasn't wrong. I'm not done, though. You asked for advice, not my life story. So I want to tell you what I took from all of those experiences, and what I hope you'll consider going forward with your school career. Here is my advice to you:
Everyone is going through their own struggles. Everyone knows this, somewhere in their minds, I know, but I don't think nearly enough people are conscious of it in their interactions with other people day to day. The world is cruel and people need someone to care for them. I'm not telling you you have to get along with everyone, but I am saying I think you should give everyone a fair chance. My life got substantially better when I started thinking of my peers, and even strangers, as potential friends. If I could have told little me anything, if I had trusted they would have heard a word of it through all of that pain and anger, I would have told them not to let the meanness of others take away their desire to be kind. -
Oh. Okay. No one knows me here, so I'd have to prove that I'm not weird. I hiss when I get angry or annoyed. I'll imitate animals for the hell of it, usually wolves or cats, but that would bring bullying, wouldn't it? And as someone who was bullied before, I don't want that. I don't need to fit in exactly, but I need to act like a person, I guess, right? I don't need to act like everyone else, but I do need to at least seem normal, in order to avoid bullying. And that makes sense.
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jeez cody, that's terrifying
my dad does some stupid s--- too but at least he doesn't usually go off the road rip -
I have the potential friend mindset. I want to be open and friendly and make people want to be around me instead of dislike me. Bullying hits hard for me, especially verbal. I've had a lot of verbal abuse and I don't want people to hate me as soon as I walk through those doors tomorrow. Thank you for that, Road.
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Heya Road! I don't think we were ever formally introduced back in the day but i'm Helena, 21 and use she/her pronouns (they is also okay). :)
not that I think anyone who knew me before is planning to deadname me but still can't hurt!! lol -
I'm not telling you not to be weird. I'm also not telling you to be weird, because I don't want people to bully you because of advice I gave you.
I personally wouldn't have changed a thing about how I went about my school career, aside from, of course, all the violence and bitterness. I still would have been weird. I never wanted to conform. I still don't. The thing about it is, all the things I went through made me who I am now, and I like me as I am, honestly. I have a lot of really awesome friends now. We talk every day. They're all incredible people, and they think I'm a good person, too. I have a girlfriend that loves me and wants to talk to me and be around me. I'm happy with my relationships. But if things hadn't happened the way they had, I don't know that I'd be the person these amazing people love so dearly. I don't know if I'd have even become someone worthy of their love. I kinda feel like I'm rambling now, but my point is, I think there are really only two principles you should allow to shape how you behave:
1. Be true to yourself. Even if you're weird.
2. Be nice.
In short, "an it harm none, do as ye will".
The world outside of school is really so big. I never thought I'd have friends like the ones I have now when I was younger. But every school has their weird kids, and they all grow up and go into the same world, all looking for their people. I think I still talk to... 3? Maybe? 3 people from school. All of my other friends, I've met here, or on poetry and music platforms, or at jobs, or out in public just minding my own business.
Sorry, I'm rambling again. My point, and that last thing I'll say in this post, I promise, is that you can be weird if you feel like that's who you are. You might not make the most friends in school doing it that way, but at least you'll have been your truest self, rather than living in disguise for years. -
Did not see the second page, i apologize!
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I think you'll be okay, Alex. Try to remember that other peoples behavior reflects on them, and your behavior reflects on you. Nothing else matters. If people are mean to you, then they're bullies. If you're nice to people, even if you're being bullied, you still get to go to sleep at the end of every day knowing you've done your best to be a good person.
It's all good! I'm multitasking in this thread lol
Nice to meet you formally, Helena! -
Thank you. That's true, I can understand that. "Be true to thyself" right? As long as I am kind, I should have a good high school career. Which makes sense. I appreciated what you've told me, Road. Thank you.
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Sorry for how drawn out that was lol
I truly hope your school career is smooth-sailing. -
I do too. But we have a guinea pig dying in the other room and it's stressful. It hasn't been the most relaxing week before school. So much stressful stuff has happened for my mom and me. I'm worried it will affect how I am tomorrow.
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