Welcome to Antilia.
- Locked by breadgirl69 on Mar 24, '23 5:18amReason: Request
Thread Topic: Welcome to Antilia.
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Killing yourself would not help in the slightest bit
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This is called life, and life is full of pain amd will not always let you feel how you want
But it rlly comes down to how you take it in -
I may only be here because I made a promise to someone...I promised him.....
I keep my word, so I couldn't dare do anything, no matter how much I may wish to leave.
But, maybe, if I didn't make that promise, I wouldn't even care. I'm so numb. I try. I push myself to find something to really want to be here for. I try to push myself to socialize and not shut everyone out. But I feel like I'm tearing myself apart forcing it. I don't have it in me to really even say hi to anyone anymore. I haven't called the three irl friends I have in over half a year. I haven't even texted them. I don't call my family, anymore. I don't even respond to half the texts I receive from them. I don't really go anywhere with my cousins unless I'm forced to. I wanted to get better, but it doesn't seem like that'll happen anytime soon.
Hardly anything means anything to me. I hold on to the smallest hope I have for the few things I feel might be meaningful. But, it's just increasingly hard. -
I washed my hands several times when I got back, and they still smell like onions and mustard. I don't really even want to smell that again for a while.
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But...I want to survive long enough to enjoy my life with Brandan. We won't always be apart, if I can make it...
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03/24/2022......
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I go pee, now.
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Just so we're clear, I never did go pee. I talked to Brandan and went to bed...not that y'all care about whatever I did.
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Pfft. -
I can't wait to see you.
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Oh god. The store manager electrocuted himself...
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Today has been going smoother, minus the bit of action, earlier. Bur, I hate how the older coworkers keep telling everyone I'm new like, "Please excuse xem. Xe's stupid."
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One of my coworkers threw away a sandwich I had just started just because the man couldn't decide if he wanted his bacon toasted with the bread, by itself, or on the bread with he rest of his meats.
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Me: says hello to everything but people
Lmao -
Still nothing... 🥺
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