Zero Dark Thirty
Thread Topic: Zero Dark Thirty
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It kinda hit me...the reality of it all when I tried to apply for a library card. The lady said she could give me a visitor's card, but my aunt told her that I had just moved here, so I hadn't been here long enough to be considered a government-acknowledged resident of the state, yet...
So then...I really do live here, and I'm not just hanging out for some unknown amount of time...
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I don't know how my mom especially would react if I told her any of this. She gets so much on the defensive and starts questioning my every word whenever I say something that hints towards I'm not coming back.
I plainly told my parents that I couldn't and wouldn't live with them acting the way they do. But still, she does this. Why?
Will it ever be about anyone other than yourself? -
I feel so unconfident right now. I just want to sit in the dark and cry. I just feel really sad and awkward about myself.
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I just seem to f--- everything up all the time. And I'm so upset, I can't focus on school, right now. But it's 8:20pm anyway. I shouldn't be doing work at this time of night.
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I feel so bad. I shouldn't have made that joke. I probably made her uncomfortable.😰
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I need to stop talking to people. I only seem to say stupid things.
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I wish I were x again.
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Please let me be over now. I can't stand existing anymore.
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I'm sick if being alive.
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I'm so angry that I have to exist. Why do I have to exist?
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I'm really exhausted. I'm probably sleep deprived.
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Sleep deprived and talking s---.
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I should go to bed early. I'm not feeling myself tonight.
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