Just Your Typical Strife
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 26, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: Just Your Typical Strife
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...I saw you and Sephiroth...
really? -
...Sorry, Snake.
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Let me just hang here for a minute...
Some s--- went down and I've gotta wait, man. -
...She's done.
Huh. Alright, then. -
Ahhhh-ahhaha.
I'm such a loser. -
So, anyway, I got back from my appointment. A lot of anxiety beforehand, and just feeling nothing afterwards. The real worry is seeing if I have Covid after a few days.
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Wonder what Red's up to. Maybe school??? Or, she has a job, right?
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I feel it. I feel it again. Falling...slowly. Sinking deep into my mind and darkness creeping in again.
I felt nothing, but also peace when I finished my check-up. But now, I feel tormented again, having returned back to my home. My mom--I don't know what her deal is, but she won't stop coming to my room for the smallest things. It's almost as if she's lonely, but I'm not going to hang out with her. Every time I try that, she always ends up making me feel bad about myself over something or another. But if I say no, she either guilt-trips me into doing it, or she says "okay", and comes back and forces me to do whatever it is she wants anyway. And I think that's an abuse of "parental authority." No, I technically don't have to oblige, but, what am I to do the moment I fully retaliate? I'd want to get as far away from here as possible, but I can't, especially with Covid and flu season and the cold, freezing rain. I've missed my time to escape and it's all because I had to wait for my stupid period to end. I thought, "If I plan it just right, I'll be lighter on my feet. Can't run away while THAT'S going on."
Huhhhhhhhhhhh... -
And I somehow always end up making a whole essay about my crappy life.
I LOVE MY LIFE. I'M HAVING FFFFFFFFFFUN! -
Why can't I stay okay when I feel okay? Why do I always fall apart at the smallest thing? Because it's not so small when people do it again and again and again. It's like I live for pain, now.
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I know it's going to happen, and there's nothing I can do about it.
My parents don't acknowledge what lies beneath, so until they do, I can't hope to recover from this. -
I'm not feelin' it, bro. I'm just not.
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And I mess up every thread I own in venting whenever wherever, but this is why we named this thread the name we named it. Yeah. This is really why. And I swapped my main because I'm not feeling all that edgy, atm, but something else altogether that I can't quite discribe. Just...hard.
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But...when I was at my appointment...my doctor called me "mx." instead of "miss" or "ma'am". At first, I thought it was an accident, but...she kept saying it... I think it was because of my jacket. She has a non-binary partner, so maybe she was familiar with the colors.
So, my dad unknowingly picked up a genderfluid flag-patterned rain jacket for me. I didn't know, and he didn't know, at the time, when he got it. I was wearing it because it's the only rain jacket I have, but...that was actually pretty cool. It made me feel a little better, today. -
Dead. This site is dead, man.
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
