Just Your Typical Strife
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 26, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: Just Your Typical Strife
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Anywhats it.
I suck.
Heheheh.
...
Huh. -
My gut hurts.
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I won't lie. I'm lonely, right now. Guess it doesn't matter since I'll be leaving, soon.
Lunch... -
So, I was hungry...?
Gut still hurts, though. -
Am I gonna...
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I think I feel better, doing that.
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I'm not sure when I'll be able to come back around here. Getting my computer up and running isn't really an option, right now.
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I feel so lonely, and I know I can't really hang around here like that.
I can't talk to my friends anymore. I'm not allowed to be honest about what I'm going through, and I hate lying to them. They haven't called in over a year, so I doubt they even assume anything's wrong. And I feel out of place, being around them, anyway. But... -
I can't stay here, for now.
That's all. -
Hey, are you okay? 💛
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I am not, almost a month later. The day right after I was last here, I almost died. I was rushed to the hospital after collapsing to find that I have anorexia. I wasn't eating enough. The headaches, the nausea, the stress--it was all the subtle symtoms of not eating enough mixed with the emotional struggle I still face at home.
My parents acknowledge my emotional problems, but they still refuse to take me to see anyone because they're hell-bent on me not being medicated.
But they mock me and tell me eating isn't anything too hard. And they tell me if I want to starve to death, that's my business. They don't know how hard it is for me to eat when eating only makes me feel worse. And I have to stay 100% stress-free at all times, otherwise I'll trigger myself all over again. -
I am just falling apart, right now, and everything is all too much to handle, somehow. And I only feel myself growing darker in nature. I can't stop making grim jokes, I'm freaking out my siblings, I hardly care what I do with myself; if it's right, it's right; if it's wrong, I don't care. And why am I suddenly obsessed with demons and fallen angels?! I mean, I can relate to them, really. Especially fallen angels. It's like I was once accepted and the perfect little child and now I'm this hot mess hell raiser.
What did I do? -
I gave in. That's what I did. February. This past February. When he left me, I collapsed. I stopped caring. And I hardly care, now. That's why my body doesn't want to be here. I'm tired of doing these motions and for what? Even my stomach is growing tired of doing the motions.
But, I don't want to give up my life like this. -
...I............
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Have a headache. And I can't stop thinking about him.
WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME???
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