Just Your Typical Strife
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 26, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: Just Your Typical Strife
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It's so easy for me to remember everything I hate about myself.
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This is probably why I never talk to anyone. I really don't want anyone to see me like this. And I never know what to say. I don't know how to act around anyone.
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You know, it's funny...
I really named myself "Raiden" because it's a name I picked when I was younger--before I knew anything about Metal Gear; I liked the meaning of the name--"lightning bolt"--because it's bright and beautiful but also dangerous...
I didn't know that I'd later find that I'm so much like the dark and edgy character, Raiden, who was much like I am, now.
I didn't know about him until 2019. I picked the name long before then and just never used it. -
There has to be a reason I'm still alive, right?
I mean, I could've caught Covid while I was out last Saturday, but I didn't. Others around me did, but I didn't. The whole building had to quarrantine, but I'm absolutely fine.
So, why am I here? -
I don't even know.
I just wish I weren't so lonely and hurting all the time.
Even the stores think I don't belong since they don't provide clothes for me anymore. -
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I'm better than this, aren't I?
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That's just it. I don't know. I don't feel like it, but I want to believe I am.
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I am. And if I'm not, I will be. -
It's just hard to trust that I will.
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I can't find any pants that fit me, and this is going to be a problem because I REFUSE to go back to wearing skirts again.
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I have a serious problem with it. It gives me horrible flashbacks I don't want to relive.
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Huh. I love the posting time that comes with Experienced.
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I guess it only shows that I'm still lonely even when I thought I wasn't.
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I need closure, maybe???
I don't know.
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