butt baby
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 23, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: butt baby
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I wanna go home I'm very overstimulated and I feel like I want to cry or something
The boys keep fighting and every time I move away from it they just end up closer to me -
And they already popped a balloon which I already have anxiety about balloons
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My phone is probably gonna die
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It's so much noise
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All I want is a hobby that I can enjoy but I don't enjoy anything I try to do because it frustrates me and makes me even more anxious because I don't do it right or it doesn't come out the way I want it to
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Idk what I'm supposed to do if I need to take a break from my therapist. Like who tf am I gonna talk to then? My clinician is way too energetic it honestly tires me. And all the questions and going right to conclusions when I try to explain what I'm saying but it's just not getting through and ugh
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I can only actually talk to my clinician like once in a blue moon.
But I don't want to restart and explain everything all over again. I don't have the energy. -
Grandma says I can't make friends and keep them and that I need to work on myself first
While that's true and all, that doesn't mean I don't still want it sometimes. Recently I'm tilting towards the "I just want someone I can do normal friend things with" side.
I think it's also because I feel everyone else is moving on and doing things they're supposed to, but I'm still here being held by the hands of time. -
And I just don't know what the f--- I'm supposed to do anymore to loosen that grip they have on me.
I don't understand why now? I used to be so ahead and responsible and mature. Now I'm the one behind. And that...that is one thing I absolutely can not stand. -
I used to never like competitions; sports, art, you name it. I'd never compete because I knew I'd be last, and I wasn't passionate about it.
I used to purposely get gutter balls when doing bowling with my brothers so they didn't cry, when we were younger. I'd always tell them it didn't matter if they won or lost.
But, I think I did like competition, just a very different kind. Not only that, but in this type of competition, I am a big sore loser. I just didn't realize that because I felt like I was winning for so long. -
And they always tell me that I don't need to fight for affection and love, but it still feels that way. Whether it be friendships or family. I never truly gotten to the stage of feeling a genuine love connection as in romance. But I know that it's probably a good thing for anyone I could've dated.
And I know my family loves me, I know that deep down. But it doesn't feel good anymore because I don't have the grades or social life or talent to back that up. I never really had a talent or a social life that was super prominent. I had the grades, and ever since those went, everything hit the fan I guess for me. They were where I shined. That's what differentiated me and my brothers. That's where I felt I won. -
It's been years since I've had them, but the sting just keeps stinging. Especially because I feel that I have nothing left anymore. I don't have anything that can make me feel like it'll be okay. My room was always messy, but I had good grades so it was okay. I was sad, but I had good grades so I was able to get through it.
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Why am I literally that toddler that stamps their feet aggressively and cries when all eyes aren't on them
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Hey, how are you feeling, Pag? đŸ’›
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I'm more calm now ig, arm hurts
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