butt baby
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 23, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: butt baby
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Yo wtf why is everyone STILL TALKING I AGREED TO EVERYTHING SO YOU'D ALL SHUT THE f--- UP SO I COULD NAP
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Now you're bothering me about group??? The next person that dares to even interact with me I will f---ing scream at
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Wastes of my goddamn time
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Like stfu I'm not doing any of that s--- and you know it
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I'm going to cry if I even have to look at anyone I can't
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These meetings put me in a state of irrational rage that I can't explain
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I wish I could just un learn s---
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But I can't really get out of it because I'm scared they'll be angry at me for lying at my own care meeting and I don't want to say what I'm feeling because then they'll get even more mad and
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Or they'll say they're disappointed or something and I can't deal with that either because it's just as scary and I know I won't ever even attempt to say something out of line again because I'll be afraid of hearing that too
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And they all think that the problem is something that I don't feel is the problem but what if they're right and I'm wrong? I can't embarrass myself like that. Because then I'm always more likely wrong than not, and if I'm wrong all the time than I can't do anything because I know I'm wrong, and even if I am wrong I can't know that
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What if I'm already wrong? What if I think things and remember things that never happened? What if I did this all to myself and everything was fine? Maybe I don't even like the color orange and maybe I don't actually like sloths but I made myself think I am because I keep distorting every single thing in my life?
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But what if I'm right? What then? Does that make it worse or better? Would it actually be easier if I'm wrong because I'm actually not the person I thought I was and I can snap back into who I actually am and have a normal life and normal relationships and friendships?
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I don't know, is it even worth taking a chance? I don't know. So I think until I'm absolutely 100% certain I'm right, I have to wait.
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But will that ever happen? Will I ever truly be 100% certain? I question my own questions, then question on the answers to those questions, because there's a possibility of being wrong?
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just let me make a decision, just once brain. It hurts my head and I get so flustered
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