i'm upset i'm i don't know what to do??
- Locked due to inactivity on May 25, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: i'm upset i'm i don't know what to do??
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i don’t know where all this negative stuff is coming from. i know i’m not perfect, but i don’t see how i’m so manipulative. most of you haven’t even taken the time to get to know me and don’t even take account of your own faults. i wish i could be better for you but i guess i’ll just never be that person i constantly feel guilty about things i don’t even do i try my absolute hardest to help everyone i can but when i do it always backfires i end up hurting or angering the other person. they end up hating me and i end up hating myself. please please tell me what i can do to fix myself.
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i try to be the kindest then i get told that i’m being too nice and seem fake, and when i try to tone it down i get called a bïtch and told i’m abusive. when i’m myself, it’s the absolute worst. no one likes it when i’m myself. i thought that’s who you’re supposed to be. when i’m myself, i don’t feel safe
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i’m so sensitive i get upset over everything i get really sad and then my sadness just comes across as anger. it makes me feel so guilty. i feel guilty all the time. it doesn’t matter if i’m in the right or in the wrong or in the between
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my anxiety is so bad that i alter every aspect about myself. i’m too scared to be myself. i’m scared that people aren’t going to like it so i pretend to be someone that i’m not
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i pretend that i’m lively and bubbly that i’m sweet and innocent but really my mind is twisted because of all the things that have happened to me. in real life, i’m really quiet. i only talk to a few people. i like to make jokes and i laugh at almost everything, but i don’t smile a lot
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i don’t know what i’m asking for here. i don’t know if it’s forgiveness or a fresh start or what. i just want to know what i can do. how do i get comfortable being my own self?
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yeah okay, if you asked, i think a good idea is to do some actual guided soul work about situations you’ve found yourself in and in turn your reactions to those given circumstances. assess your feelings and why you behave the way you do, without any certain connotation or person attached to it.
if you do that and work towards doing the actual kindest thing possible. maybe research what kindness means, i can’t imagine going wrong on a journey through self improvement or discovery.
to get comfortable, you’re going to have to get uncomfortable. instead of asking how to please others, or how to have people see you kindly, a good idea is to just act kindly. rather than focusing on perception, hone in on what you personally have experienced, your reactions and feelings, and why it all happened so.
i did not want to leave you hanging on a question like that, so i shared some of my own advice that i got from myself and my therapist during my own path to being a better person. -
thank you. i think i probably need to start seeing a therapist again and get on some meds.
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sorry, that didn’t seem genuine. i was rushing because i had to do something.
seriously, thank you so much. i think my mind has been closed off to all of this and i really want to open it up, even if it takes some time. -
do you care if i ever message you on disc? if i need advice?
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i will be your friend to the end, no one can be too nice, your either mean, nice, or creepy. and i think your nice. and also, YOUR A KE$HA FAN?!
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may i ask if you’re an alt? i’ve seen you around, but i’m not sure who you are exactly... ^^'
and i’d be happy to be your friend! and yea, i like some of kesha’s music, lol. -
i used to go by yuukichan, but i forgot the password for that account lol
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you can reach out if you need some guidance, i can also share some resources my therapist actually referred me to before as well.
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okie. thank you so much.
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