i'm upset i'm i don't know what to do??
- Locked due to inactivity on May 25, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: i'm upset i'm i don't know what to do??
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You asked for honesty and people gave it to you. It's much easier to give our honest thoughts if people are directly asking for them, because it would be really random to just enter your personal thread and be like YO THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF YOU TAKE THAT🤬 and honestly that would be pretty rude of us lol
Instead of beating yourself up over the criticism though, maybe you should take the time to accept it and think how you can learn from it. And take some time to simply get to know yourself and what you stand for or want to represent. Learn positive traits but dont just apply them over your real personality, but embrace them and make them a part of yourself.
Look I'm somebody who struggles w my identity too, and honestly I've been fake af in the past. I've been a bad friend and I have hurt people before. Honestly, I've been manipulative too. I know it's difficult to feel confident in who we really are and all our flaws. We cant always be perfect, we cant always be happy and we cant always be somebody else's perfect person. If we could do that, we wouldn't be human. But that doesn't mean we can't learn from our mistakes or become a better person.
What helped me was seeking honest change inside of me and realizing my own wrongs. Detaching from those areas of my life where I was "fake" or trying to be perfect, so I could really find myself and understand who I really was. And learn and embrace positive change and traits.
This part applies to when I've hurt people but: realizing where I went wrong, acknowledging it, being fully honest about it or anything I've done and letting people know I'm aware of where I went wrong and that I'm seeking to change it. But actually genuinely working on that change. And taking time away to change
Another thing you could do is that when somebody offers you advice in the form of criticism, see it as a problem which needs an answer rather than something which should upset you. Obviously with criticism we'll all get upset for a while. I'm a total loser when it comes to criticism and it gets me upset af. But approach it with the kind of attitude like "how can I fix this, what should I do from here?" And brainstorm possible solutions. I like to write my solutions down.
You could stop and look at the influences around you and what is causing you to act a certain way, then approach it with that same problem solving attitude.
I'm probably rambling and making zero sense here, but I hope you find peace within yourself and the confidence to be truthful with yourself. The road of change and identity is a difficult one, but a worthwhile one. Best of luck -
no, mei, everything makes perfect sense, and thank you so much. ♡
i’m going to start now by writing a list of things that make me feel myself, and things that i feel like aren’t really me and i need to detach from, such as unhealthy habits. thank you guys for the help.
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