emy's thread <3
- Locked by The Coldest Sun on Apr 4, '21 6:52pmReason: Locked at creator's request.
Thread Topic: emy's thread <3
-
i don’t really want to go to drama today. some of my classmates were being mean to me last night, and it made me upset.
-
hopefully, i can just ignore them. i know i’m going to feel anxious though. what if i start shaking again? i’ll try my best not to.
-
i’m not sure if i have to present my monologue today. if i do, i’m totally unprepared.. so oops, i guess. i emailed h, but she didn’t reply. i technically should have contacted wowie, but i wasn’t sure how to get in touch with him.
-
i’m going to look over it, just in case. i don’t want to be completely clueless.
i missed auditions and everything. i don’t know what they’re going to do to me. i wanted to be in the play, but i just couldn’t make it. i think wowie will still assign me a role, possibly. i believe he thinks i have some kind of potential. some of the people in there really question me, and it makes me feel like an experiment sometimes, though, not in a bad way. -
dave even told me i was... what was the word he used?
elusive.
he said i was the most elusive person he had ever met.
he said i was really difficult to figure out, especially when it comes to my personality.
i’m not exactly sure what he was trying to say, but i know he wasn’t being negative about it. he’s actually very nice, and has even complimented me on multiple occasions.
i wish more people would strive to be like him. he minds his own business, but isn’t afraid to help others when he sees that they’re upset or hurt.
i wonder if i’m like that. maybe i really am elusive. -
i have ten minutes until i head to drama class. i’m going to stop by the bathroom, just to take a minute to breathe. i don’t know why i’m so anxious about walking in there- that’s a lie. i’m anxious because of what happened last night, the things they said, and the way i responded. i called them out, got scared, and left. they must think i’m such a coward. they probably think worse- that i’m a bad person. they probably think i was trying to start drama, and not the pleasant kind. i really hope not. i just don’t want to surround myself with people who make me feel negative feelings towards myself. that’s understandable, right? if i told them that, they’d think i’m directly insulting them and grow defensive. i wish it were easier to communicate.
-
a few minutes have passed, just from me typing that up. the time is getting closer now. why do i have to be so anxious? maybe i feel like i made a mistake, like people will look down on me because of it. what if they ask questions?
maybe it will all turn for the best. they’ll apologize to me and remember not to purposefully make others uncomfortable or upset like that. who am i kidding? my anxiety would never let me actually believe that would happen.
i’m going to try to though.
just less than four minutes. i hope i don’t see any of them on my way to the restroom.
ugh, this is a nightmare for me, and they’re probably not even thinking about it. it probably hasn’t even touched the surface of their mind today. -
bell rung. let’s hope i don’t get punched.
-
i told emma about what happened and why i was scared, so now i feel more safe.
-
that was exhilarating. i honestly loved it.
-
finally, i get to go home. i’ll probably talk about my day here.
-
oh no, i’m cramping. i was earlier too, but it stopped for a while.
i talked to joseph a few minutes ago. i thought he hated me, but he speaks to me sometimes. -
Hi Emy
-
hi there! how’re you?
-
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.