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- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 24, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: No Subject
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What I don’t understand is how I’m so self aware but still a toxic person you know I’m starting to think it’s not the traumatic events I’ve been through during my childhood but that I chose to become this way because some people go through
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Similar trauma levels but age the sweetest people you can meet and seem to have their life together it’s weird
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I am not going to wear a skirt for your video and it’s not because I hate it but because I would have my entire self image crumble before me and revert back into pre t me and that’s not something I want or can handle right now
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In the future I hope to be able to wear stuff like that but seeing me with a skirt even knee length just reminds me of instances I don’t want to go back to from my childhood I’m sorry
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But am I really a man if I can’t wear a skirt without having my entire identity crumble before me
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Moving in because I can’t have another emotional crisis at this time
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Good news I can think of outside of my life
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Child support for my brother is getting paid
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My mom isn’t in my life anymore because i ghosted her and blocked her from my phone
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I
Holy s--- no this is related to me but good news -
I am no longer attracted to milfs anymore or 50 year olds or older women in general I noticed this before I quit but I actually pay attention to women in their 20s now instead of their moms
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Actually that’s a lie they are still very pretty and I like to look at them but like I also acknowledge the girls my age now instead of ignoring them
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You know I don’t know if I still qualify as a grooming victim because I voluntarily dating this woman at 20/21 but now that I think about it I don’t think the power balance was even between my ex and I
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Like she was a wonderful person and I have no issues with her mostly because our relationship dynamics was open liberal but I don’t know
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Like I’m 21 about to be 22 right
I at 21 always said and still stand by saying I don’t date anybody younger than 20.
18 and 19 are just extensions to children. They’re liked blacked out video game characters to me in the dating world
Now at 21 bout to be 22 I look back at 20 year old me and who I am now and squirm because I still thought like a kid.? I wasn’t a kid but I acted like one and was not mature I’m still not mature but I’m definitely not as immature as back then and that
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