Bet you didn't think that I'd come back to life stronger.
Thread Topic: Bet you didn't think that I'd come back to life stronger.
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I avoid people irl just as much as I do online.
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And there are those who pity you and want to help, but I don’t want your pity.
I always feel like people do that. They talk to you or ask how you are bc they pity you. Or they want to be friends with you bc you’re seen as a lone wolf, but f--- that. I don’t need that. -
I’m tired of people coming to me after realizing how broken down I am.
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Literally had someone wanting to be friends with me because of that.
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I want someone who sees more than that to be friends with me. I want people to want to be friends with me without knowing how broken and f---ed up i am. Because then it’ll feel like they aren’t wanting to be friends bc of how messed up you are.
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does that make sense
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Kinda like wanting them to not treat you like you’re some fragile thing just bc of s--- that happened
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I just.. need my space. That’s all I’m asking.
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I don’t want to take down my walls, but I have to one day.
I’m just really selective atm. Like, I don’t even allow certain people to follow me on Instagram. Like people on here are definitely not allowed, no offense. That’s why I removed those who were following me.
I keep my page private also because I want to protect people who are following me. I’ve grown so paranoid, I can’t do it. -
I keep to myself a lot, it’s not healthy..
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It leads to me talking and thinking to myself a lot, and then next thing I’m overthinking and getting stressed about everything.
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Sometimes I really do want to get up and get a therapist, but the other part of me is so f---ing stubborn, I insist I’m strong enough to overcome all of this. I know I am compared to some people. But even with my strong-will personality and mindset, I find myself slipping a whole lot more often.
Idk. Sometimes I hate that strong will that I have. Because there are times I want to hurt myself, but I can’t. Times that I want to give up, but I don’t. It’s a gift and a curse. It’s annoying. -
And I remember talking to someone about how I’m not really emotionally driven. They were, but I wasn’t. And they said they wish they were like me.
And I was like... why? Holy s---, I wish I was more sympathetic and you’re over here wishing you weren’t? I struggle with not feeling anything most of the time and you want to be like that? -
You’re more human than me lmfao
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Will never forget that conversation tbh.
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