Ripper's Edge
Thread Topic: Ripper's Edge
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But, I also don't know what I should and shouldn't say because I'm equally an idiot.
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I don't know...🙁
Just don't... -
You know, it was almost a year ago when......
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I shouldn't reminisce. I should know better than to do this. I have learned very well by now that the past and I are anything but friends.
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But you know you already have...reminisced...haven't you?
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Maybe my memory's so f---ed up because I don't want to remember. I mean, in addition to the days being relatively the same.
I...I don't want to know if that's the case, though. -
I had been struggling for several years, and it got worse last year. For a moment, I thought I might've been recovering, but now...
Some of the things I think and do...
Willingly...seeking death...
I haven't recently tried to harm myself, so that's good. But, still. It's not an improvement. -
But, what do I have to live for? Everything promised that would be a reason has failed me, and I seem to have failed everyone who hoped that I could become something.
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I'm losing trust in several people and things, and the will to go on. Even if I mentally have the will, my physical will is dwindling.
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I just feel unwanted in life. And frankly, I don't really want life.
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My mom is enraged that she's finally realizing I'm just a broken soul beneath a smiling face. But she still refuses to acknowledge why.
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😶 I...
Um..............
....................
...
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Stupid nympho...
And I feel like it's a curse that I'm like this.
I wonder if it'll ever go away.
But...if I feel like this, then that means I'm in pain.
But of course...reminiscing. I shouldn't have. -
I ban myself from acting or speaking on anything I may feel ever again. It's best that I be this way.
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But I know I'll just fail every time. I know it's not possible for me to fake or kill or hide any of my feelings at any given time.
I'm a lost cause. I'll only continue to throw myself in harm's way, won't I?
It would seem to feel things leaves me too open, but I can't help it...ever.
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