No Subjects
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 17, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: No Subjects
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I really just spent $90 on a girl I don’t really know because I was too shy to say no to her and had already postponed her for 5 weeks.
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I mean she’s I think one year older than me but She has a girlfriend and her girlfriend looks like she could beat my ass 😭
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If she knew her girlfriend has been sliding into my DMs for the past almost two months and shown up to my job this week she would probably no doubt most likely beat me up even though I’ve been dissing her because I don’t mean any disrespect and have my own thing going on
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This is why you can not be nice to people because they immediately think you’re interested no mikayla unless you’re a mom I see you as a friend
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It’s the mommy issues I’m letting shine through for me. Really playing into the stereotypical commitment scared emotionally unavailable mommy issues skater stoner character and it shows. Trust me no one is more disappointed in me more than me myself
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How am I so self aware but still such a manipulative human being oh my god I scare my own self it’s borderline incel gas lighting indie god complex type this is why I do not date anybody seriously
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Lol I’m just kidding we all know that if I was truly the evil mastermind genius I claim to be I wouldn’t have had 107 panic attacks, 3 breakdowns, and 2 suicide attempts from emotional abuse marked on my calendar from dating Lydia. So either A) that completely f---ed me up because I do not remember being such a wreck in the relationship department before she came along or B) I was a terrible person all along but couldn’t tell because I never interacted in person
But if I’m such a terrible person
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How come I put others before myself and drop everything to drive 3 hours and comfort my friends even if I don’t really know them that well simply because they told me they were sad because something bad happened to them. I don’t expect anything in return if someone needs a place to sleep I’m happy to share my corner bed because that’s what friends are for . If I have the choice to feed myself or give my entire savings to get my friend into rehab and feed a sibling and a stepmother I chose them . I can literally go up to a random person on the street and befriend them. I am the person almost everyone asks advice from
Why am I just so bad and toxic to myself and my views in relationships but not in friendships -
I don’t know. I guess I’m just afraid of committing to people.
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But not in platonic ways that’s apparently okay in my head? I can literally move in with a girl I had no previous connection with, her matching friendship tattoos with them, and not be an item but still live in perfect harmony
Yet my brain goes in self destruct mode the minute anyone that’s my age shows interest in becoming more than friends or wants third base
make it make sense -
It’s the not being interested in sleeping with anybody and being bullied by the guys because apparently its 2010 and gay is still an insult. No Kevin, I just have trauma and have basic ducking human morals and show women basic respect without expecting anything in return not only because of said trauma but also because they’re actually really nice to be friends with which you would know if you actually paid attention to what they said instead of calling them snow bunnies and other misogynistic bulls--- names but of course every damn time we try to call you out for it doesn’t matter if it’s me or any of the other members you pull a reverse uno card and make yourself the depressed victim
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My patients for the three clowns of the chat is getting thinner and thinner by the hour. It was a peaceful mechanical, civil, and chemical engineering majors chat but one of us had to invite the f---ing communication major to the group.
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Patience * why did it auto correct to that
Anyways I’m just upset with that whole thing and sewing Kevin in the chat every single day is nails on chalk -
Seeing
It’s so late I clearly can’t type anymore I guess I just wanted to have a breakdown in peace on here. Good thing the back to school section is still in stores I can go get a journal and start ranting there lmao I’m so annoying and done with myself Jesus Christ -
I did it I left the f---ing chat the straw that broke the f---ing camel’s back was last night
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