ah shit, here we go again
- Locked by Dark22978 on Oct 11, '19 5:44amReason: Owner's request.
Thread Topic: ah shit, here we go again
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Yesterday I found some old journals and can I just say I'm such a clown 🤡
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FORGET in big scratchy letters and here we are in 2k19
Big stupid -
At least I have literally the best friend in the whole f---ing world to help me get through such hard times
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I found a song that literally is me??
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Disappear Daily by Ollie MN in case anyone's stalking and curious to look up lyrics
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Nico's theme song is definitely Breezeblocks by alt-J
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I treated you well. Actually, I treated you like you were my f---ing queen and I was just the ground you walked on. I did everything I could to make you feel like you were strong and beautiful and that you meant the world to me. Even while you tore me down, I took the time to try and make you feel like you were someone worth my love and attention. And you take all of that for granted. So yeah, I'm gonna be jealous of some stupid boy that's doing everything I've done for seven years but just happens to have a penis and live in your area, lmao.
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I also really liked how I warned you that I was going to block you because I RESPECT YOUR DAMN ANXIETY but you removed me before I even got the chance to respond to your comments. Really considerate of you.
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You can be in love and simultaneously not a) discredit what everyone's done for you all of these years and b) intentionally make us feel like s---.
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But maybe it's for the best that you avoid the conversation that would have been shared had I been awake. I'm unfiltered, I'm angry, and I'm not your friend anymore so there's no obligation for me to sugar coat everything.
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It sucks that you feel the need to post on here conveniently at the same time I'm trying to get back into roleplaying with the people I can't talk to off-site, but it's chill. I'll be the one to stop posting and stop coming on, as I always am. I'm the big girl here. You might be the legal adult, but you've never once acted like one or even tried to take responsibility for your actions and decisions.
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Anyway, yeah. I did want you to go out and find someone, and I did want you to make friends. But I didn't want you to be an a--hole and discredit all of the things I did for you to help you get to this point.
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Really makes you wonder if the "I'm doing this for you" and "I couldn't have done this without you" was just words you said to make me feel validated when, in reality, you couldn't give one. lesser. f---!
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But I digress. I'm supposed to be the one who doesn't care. We aren't friends. Ian's right. Why should I be jealous of someone who doesn't care about me or what I've done for them?
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Congrats on finding someone who "actually cares about you" and "makes you feel loved" or whatever. And I mean that. It definitely pisses me off you don't think that we didn't do our best to do that, but it is what it is. Best of wishes to you.
Don't bother trying to add me back anywhere, as you're blocked on all fronts and I've deleted Instagram entirely for this very reason. You made it clear anything I had to say doesn't matter to you, so I'll let these messages be the last thing I ever say to you or about you publicly.
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