ahh
- Locked due to inactivity on Oct 31, '16 3:54am
Thread Topic: ahh
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*want to
You can at least make an effort. If you mess up, correct yourself. I'm not going to attack you if you correct yourself. You don't have to go and apologize every two seconds. Just correct yourself, and continue with your life. -
Thank you.
NICK HEY -
I don't go out and tell people, "Hey, I want to die right now. How about you?" No one does that. It just adds up, and builds over time. I've been doing that for what feels like forever, and I'm done with it.
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I've told all of my teachers, and everyone knows. Only three people have changed pronouns out of the entire school, and that's Chris, Ricki, and Taylor. They didn't drown me with uncomfortable questions. They just said, "Okay." It's that simple.
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My hair hasn't been properly trimmed in over a month. I don't have a binder. I hate my body. I don't want to leave my house. I don't have the motivation to do anything productive or anything I really like. I don't even want to sit at the piano and play. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to breathe. I don't want to live. I can't sleep. I'm not good at anything. I'm done.
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My mom always tells me, "If you ever feel suicidal or if you ever feel like hurting yourself, tell me. I can't imagine you feeling that way." Shocker! I've felt this way for years! Sure, I'm clean, but that doesn't mean I don't the alternatives that don't leave permanent scars! That doesn't mean I still want to die! Shocker!
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*don't do the alternatives
Also, if you really cared, you would stop misgendering me. That's where a lot of the drive comes from. -
You can't solve the problem if you are the problem or part of it.
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I want to educate people so these shenanigans can stop.
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No one really knows the depth of how upset I really am. I don't want to say depressed, but upset is an understatement. I really want to tell someone, just one person that I can trust. I don't want that person to flip out on me. I just need them to listen and not be judgemental because it's serious.
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Bye.
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