Something happened and I was intending to type it
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:33pm
Thread Topic: Something happened and I was intending to type it
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Xbear NewbieI'm not a stranger I am a regular
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Xbear Newbie
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Xbear NewbieWait til you get traumatised and no one answers your posts
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Kay lil bro. I'm here. Tell me about it if you want.
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Xbear NewbieIts long but it has to be, sorry
It happened last night, i live with my mother and her partner for nearly a year. I avoid them (the partner) the whole time I've been here, I stay in my room when they are here ( I feel I have to refer to them as "they") I can't explain exactly why I did this but I just felt to stay away from them, I've always felt physically like " no". When it was just me and my mother I didn't do this with her but I didn't go out the house much
There's been many things happen where they have stood outside my room shouting about the way I am -this caused me very great anxiety when it happened. They got threatening and I ended up talking to a few doctors here over a few months, but I did this only out of fear and pressure. The doctors thought I had anxiety, depression or weren't sure. I ended up coming to an agreement with my mother that I'd ask the doctor for anxiety medication
Then last night I could tell they were in a weird mood, they did this really bizarre loud whistling and hit the ceiling which scared me. She went to bed then suddenly they opened my room and I dont know what happened first but they asked about the meds and was like " where is it?" "Why did you ask for it?"" Why haven't you taken it?" Over and over like deluded
Then grabbed it and opened it and threatened Me to take it "take it or I'll be here all night" Did really disgusting stuff like was making smells in my room on purpose, absolutely repulsive and was swearing and saying abusive things about people like n word about a doctor i saw and called my mother fat and stuff which has done before
It was like this for hours, I can't bear it. My room that's my on!y personal space in this house and was doing that disgusting stuff next to my bed
The threatning meds went on and on I can't describe how much it went on and started to come towards me, she threatened to attack and I said call the police or friend but she wouldn't. Was trying to actually take the meds out and stuffed it in their pocket like it was theirs. We didn't know how to stop it, I don't know how it stopped. I said get out, I can't take it and how much I hated them and how wrong they are. I abso!utely hate them for how theyve made me feel. It was very prolonged like a standoff and I feel traumatised by it, I already felt I'd taken as much as I had capacity for (a similar thing happened a couple of times before which i dont want to say) so now this has happened....
Left the room at about 3:30am. I went to sleep about 6 something am, I didn't want to s!eep on the bed because of everything
Its like there's something missing in their brain, they must have some past problems I know they took drugs before they met. I think- know they need more help than me
We're going to move out but I m thinking this has affected me, should I talk to a counsellor? Or someone i know? And should I do it before we leave or after we go? It'll take around two months before we leave. I dont feel i have anyone I can tell. It also disturbs me that no one else knows what they're like - they have no friends (unsurprisingly) and my mother was threatening to tell their mother and brother but I dont know if she will. I want other people to know what they're like. I dont want them to be able to get away with being like that. I also feel ashamed, disturbed, confused and worriedwhy she would put up with and choose someone like that - its not love so it can't be that. They just make me feel totally repulsed and I feel violated -
Xbear NewbieFeel stupid now
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Hide and seek NoviceSry, I don't mean 2 intrude but this sounds like a very serious matter. Do 1 thing, ask urself 3 questions:-
1)is there even d slightest possibility dat maybe its ur trauma thats making u think like that?
2)have u ever tried asking ur mom directly, alone abt this when things r calm?
3)r d meds doing this 2 u? R u srsly psychologically damaged? Psych meds can b rly delusionary.
These may sound like totally s---ty questions but do urself a favour n just do it. U shud definitely try talking 2 a counselor or any1 who can help u. If all fails, try dialling 911 or 999 whichever ur plc uses or visit 2 a nearby hospital can b vry beneficialit. Maybe show d meds ure taking.
For now, try 2 think of happy thots as much as possible. Finally, im sry if i hurt ur thots in any way n i appreciate d courage it took to write things as u did. -
Xbear Newbie1) making me think like what?
2) about what?
3) I haven't taken any meds before. These are mild anxiety meds and I haven't taken any. -
Xbear NewbieIts not a delusion, it 100% happened.
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Hide and seek NoviceOkay.... How r u feeling now?
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Xbear NewbieMessed up. I just want someone to agree with me that their behaviour is wrong. Does it sound too weird to be tru? I mean does it sound extreme?
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Hide and seek NoviceIt doesnt, everyone has probs, u do, i do too except many dont dare to share. U made ur point. Feel good abt it. Calm down. Lets not talk abt that ryt now, hmm? U think u up 4 it?
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Xbear NewbieI'm just interested why you thought I was delusional?
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I agree that they are not treating you fairly. It sounds entirely too extreme to even be true.
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Hide and seek NoviceIdk sth similar happened to one of my frnds n that jst flashed into my mind. Never mind, I also wanted u to make ur point like u did n Im glad u did. I know i wrote a hell lotta unnecessary things. Sry. Btw, hi, Hiccstrid.
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