My New Thread
- Locked by Dark22978 on Oct 21, '18 6:30pmReason: Owner's request.
Thread Topic: My New Thread
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Maximum x Dante Newbie*laughs*
SG: *smiles and gets you a drink*
See you later Cody! -
Not going to lose this thread. There are to many pages to lose this thing.
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Jafar is looking at adirs ass!!!!
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^~^ xD
Sniper is a Juinor?? How could I forget this. -
Yes, Sniper has been a junior for some time.
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SG: I need to keep up with these things xD
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Hey, jinx!
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Hey Cody!
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Sweet tarts and orange juice taste bad together XD
How are you? -
O.o I would understand why.
Pretty well, just a bit tired. -
I don't like this generator. xD
Cold-blooded Hooligan
A Screenplay by Jinx Blackclaw
EXT. TRAFALGAR SQUARE - AFTERNOON
Incredible housekeeper DCI GRAHAM DEVITO is arguing with brave private detective PROF REGINALD RABBIT. GRAHAM tries to hug REGINALD but he shakes him off.
GRAHAM
Please Reginald, don't leave me.
REGINALD
I'm sorry Graham, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
GRAHAM
I am such a person!
REGINALD frowns.
REGINALD
I'm sorry, Graham. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
REGINALD leaves.
GRAHAM sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, stable fishmonger MISS KATHY SLAUGHTERHOUSE barges in looking flustered.
GRAHAM
Goodness, Kathy! Is everything okay?
KATHY
I'm afraid not.
GRAHAM
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
KATHY
It's ... a hooligan ... I saw an evil hooligan trick a bunch of swimmers!
GRAHAM
Defenseless swimmers?
KATHY
Yes, defenseless swimmers!
GRAHAM
Bloomin' heck, Kathy! We've got to do something.
KATHY
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
GRAHAM
You can start by telling me where this happened.
KATHY
I was...
KATHY fans herself and begins to wheeze.
GRAHAM
Focus Kathy, focus! Where did it happen?
KATHY
Sydney Opera House! That's right - Sydney Opera House!
GRAHAM springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
GRAHAM rushes along the street, followed by KATHY. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
INT. SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE - SHORTLY AFTER
CHRISTIANA TRESCOTHIK a cold-blooded hooligan terrorises two swimmers.
GRAHAM, closely followed by KATHY, rushes towards CHRISTIANA, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
KATHY
What is is? What's the matter?
GRAHAM
That's not just any old hooligan, that's Christiana Trescothik!
KATHY
Who's Christiana Trescothik?
GRAHAM
Who's Christiana Trescothik? Who's Christiana Trescothik? Only the most cold-blooded hooligan in the universe!
KATHY
Blinkin' knickers, Graham! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most cold-blooded hooligan in the universe!
GRAHAM
You can say that again.
KATHY
Blinkin' knickers, Graham! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most cold-blooded hooligan in the universe!
GRAHAM
I'm going to need swords, lots of swords.
Christiana turns and sees Graham and Kathy. She grins an evil grin.
CHRISTIANA
Graham DeVito, we meet again.
KATHY
You've met?
GRAHAM
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young GRAHAM is sitting in a park listening to some drum and bass music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees CHRISTIANA. He takes off his headphones.
CHRISTIANA
Would you like some barley sugar?
GRAHAM's eyes light up, but then he studies CHRISTIANA more closely, and looks uneasy.
GRAHAM
I don't know, you look kind of cold-blooded.
CHRISTIANA
Me? No. I'm not cold-blooded. I'm the least cold-blooded hooligan in the world.
GRAHAM
Wait, you're a hooligan?
GRAHAM runs away, screaming.
INT. SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE - PRESENT DAY
CHRISTIANA
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
KATHY
(To GRAHAM) You ran away?
GRAHAM
(To KATHY) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
GRAHAM turns to CHRISTIANA.
GRAHAM
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
GRAHAM runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
GRAHAM
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with swords.
CHRISTIANA
I'm not scared of you.
GRAHAM
You should be.
EXT. A BOOK SHOP - LATER THAT DAY
GRAHAM and KATHY walk around searching for something.
GRAHAM
I feel sure I left my swords somewhere around here.
KATHY
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly swords.
GRAHAM
You know nothing Kathy Slaughterhouse.
KATHY
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, CHRISTIANA appears, holding a pair of swords.
CHRISTIANA
Looking for something?
KATHY
Crikey, Graham, she's got your swords.
GRAHAM
Tell me something I don't already know!
KATHY
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
GRAHAM
I know that already!
KATHY
I'm afraid of sausages.
CHRISTIANA
(appalled) Dude!
While CHRISTIANA is looking at KATHY with disgust, GRAHAM lunges forward and grabs his deadly swords. He wields them, triumphantly.
GRAHAM
Prepare to die, you cold-blooded cabbage!
CHRISTIANA
No please! All I did was trick a bunch of swimmers!
REGINALD enters, unseen by any of the others.
GRAHAM
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those swimmers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Graham DeVito defender of innocent swimmers.
CHRISTIANA
Don't hurt me! Please!
GRAHAM
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these swords on you right away!
CHRISTIANA
Because Graham, I am your mother.
GRAHAM looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
GRAHAM
No you're not!
CHRISTIANA
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
CHRISTIANA tries to grab the swords but GRAHAM dodges out of the way.
GRAHAM
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, CHRISTIANA slumps to the ground.
KATHY
Did she just faint?
GRAHAM
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly swords.
GRAHAM crouches over CHRISTIANA's body.
KATHY
Be careful, Graham. It could be a trick.
GRAHAM
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Christiana Trescothik is dead!
GRAHAM
What?
GRAHAM
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.
KATHY claps her hands.
KATHY
So your swords did save the day, after all.
REGINALD steps forward.
REGINALD
Is it true? Did you kill the cold-blooded hooligan?
GRAHAM
Reginald how long have you been...?
REGINALD puts his arm around GRAHAM.
REGINALD
Long enough.
GRAHAM
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Christiana Trescothik.
REGINALD
Then the swimmers are safe?
GRAHAM
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable swimmers enter, looking relived.
REGINALD
You are their hero.
The swimmers bow to GRAHAM.
GRAHAM
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Christiana Trescothik will never trick swimmers ever again, is enough for me.
REGINALD
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the swimmers passes GRAHAM a healing bell
REGINALD
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
GRAHAM
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.
GRAHAM
Well, if you insist.
GRAHAM takes the bell.
GRAHAM
Thank you.
The swimmers bow their heads once more, and leave.
GRAHAM turns to REGINALD.
GRAHAM
Does this mean you want me back?
REGINALD
Oh, Graham, of course I want you back!
GRAHAM smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
GRAHAM
Well you can't have me.
REGINALD
WHAT?
GRAHAM
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a hooligan to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
REGINALD
But...
GRAHAM
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Kathy.
KATHY grins.
REGINALD
But...
KATHY
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
REGINALD
Graham?
GRAHAM
I'm sorry Reginald, but I think you should skidaddle.
REGINALD leaves.
KATHY turns to GRAHAM.
KATHY
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
GRAHAM
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly KATHY stops.
KATHY
When I said I'm afraid of sausages, you know I was just trying to distract the hooligan don't you?
THE END -
Yeah. Good thing I'm out of sweet tarts now.
Same here. -
Yerp
xD -
Yeah.
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I love the Profile pic. xD
I want to get Until Dawn but is $50-$60.
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