My OFFICIAL thread
Thread Topic: My OFFICIAL thread
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I understand- the unbearable pain- but the pain results in fear, and the fear results in anger, and the anger rules in malice, and the malice results in the hurt of other people...
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I never go that far. I suck it all back in and start over before that happens.
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care_bear19 Novice*hugs* Stop. It'll be okay. I know thats like the most bs common thing to sy but it's true.
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Maybe one day. But that's not today, tomorrow, and in complete honesty it probably won't be anytime soon.
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You are too late stupid, it has already happened.
Odds are you already saw this but whatever. ..
I don't really have much attachment to this site anymore, -as I have stated before- and I need to know if I should even bother coming on. Alexander you were really, honestly, truly the only flipping reason I wanted to stay here and resented all that crap.... but I don't feel like you are here anymore and I swear I have lost my only connection point- imean, you are here, I see you post, but it doesn't hard affect me anymore than seeing a picture of a late relative would. You used to to always tell me that you needed the 'old me' back, and here she is waiting patiently for the person who request her all those centuries ago and she is getting sort of impatient. I have tried, I really have, to stay strong, and to let this person stay in my house, in fact, I am almost afraid to let her leave because she is the only reason I am not lying on the floor after an overdose. But Alexander I am running out of endurance, I can't wait for you to get better and I am too wary to try and help. I just need all of this to be over! I have tried, I stand here as tall as I watch you, and Jozy, and my mother, and my father, and my cousin, and my grandmother all fade out of my existence... it hurts, it really does, no physical pain I have ever inflicted on myself can ever amount to the pain I have endured as I stand here watching everyone I love slowly fade from me. I am for real crying right now, I mean, you should have seen me last night when my dad asked us to pay for my mom who might as well be dying. I wept so hard last night- I can hardly see this screen now because my heart and my eyes are in a blur of melting years that have been waiting to escape for an milenium.
I need you to tell me, do you even f---ing care or am I just wasting my time and energy trying to hold on to something that doesn't care about me anymore, -
.-. Savannah, I- *stops breathing for a second* I wish I could help somehow, and I always did know that your problems were so much more real than mine...that a s--- I am for even doing any of this bulls---...
I need the Swipe, Savannah. -
Alexander, you have no one to help but yourself, do you understand? You can't help me anymore than I can help you, that why I restrained from saying anything for so long. Now, I really, really, really, honestly, with passion want to help you more Ethan you could ever help me, but I can't, not unless you can at least show me what I am helping.
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Alex, your problems aren't any less real then mine, to just have a different type of problem- ours cannot be compared to one another,
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Mine are pure pain, and pain is of the mind. Yours are of physical things, which are of the world, and cause pain.
I'm trying to find a thread where I posted the main problems that my brain is saying "Well f--- this!!" about. -
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You make it seem like emotional pain is a heavier burden, and you are sadly ignorant to the fact that I am weighing an identical mental burden of pain to your mental abyss....
I might have seen it, but I am not to sure. -
THAT
IS
WHAT
IM
APOLOGIZING
FOR
uughh, I tried to say this before. Because me thinking that my "emotional" pain is worse was wrong of me and so I am apologizing. -
What? scared you off?
What'd I do this time? -
I know, the same thing happened to me, and I know it hurts. But Alex, you cannot let things like this pull you down. You are stronger than this! This is a battle waged against you to see how strong you are and frankly, you aren't winning. I know it is hard but the only way you will ever get Ali back is if you remain vigilant and patient and don't beat yourself up because the pain is real but it can't own you, silly, every thing that is happening to you is your tiniest battle in life and if you can't honestly in even the tiniest corner of your mind find reason enough to fight it, then you aren't worthy of the human title and you might as well give up right now.
mhmm... and it isn't like Jozy and I don't email each other all the time on your well being and it isn't like I haven't ruined my life just to stay here because I don't want to loose you.
My vision is f---ed up like no one elses on this planet, worse even than a blind person's
Haha, mine too brother. I can hardly see the stars in the sky anymore because my vision -along with the rest of me- is failing. I don't know how else to treat this but, what time find that helps is to not give in to the stain on your eyes. Don't turn to glasses, fight! Strive with every muscle in you visionary senses to see things that are impossibly far away.
You will find people, you will. And as far as arguing goes.... you could always try a debate class, you will make many friends who understand you there and you will get to pursue something you enjoy in a formal matter.
You aren't in school right now, bone head. What did you think summer was for? You are suppose to not stress about school.
I don't know work how many times I have said this, but you cannot live in the past. You must move on, do you hear me? You must seek a way to forgive your past errors and wrongdoers, you must seek a way to no let the weight of your past effect your future or you will never move.
I understand, that is how it was for me when I was depressed. In fact, I think you are going through the same depression trend I was. In which case, you really do need a break from the Internet... like I said in a previous thread, suggest camping or a trip with your parents. -
I guess I am the one who is ignorant then, because I am still confused. Alex, you have nothing to apologize for. I could easily debate the contention that it is unjust for someone who is in unbearable pain to see the pain of someone else. That is ludacris, you couldn't see past your own pain and that doesn't even make you selfish, it makes you human.
You didn't scare me *rolls eyes* I was just being thorough.
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