I've been writing.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:22pm
Thread Topic: I've been writing.
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If someone, right now, were to ask me for memories from my childhood, they would not be of sunny days and a carefree life. Maybe I would tell them about the bullies from my past. But I'd probably tell them about the rain.
Throughout my childhood, my clearest memories have been of rain, especially at night. The sound of raindrops hitting the roof of an SUV, along with the wet water smell only rain brings. Sometimes, I'm downtown. The reds and greens of stoplights and the businesses' bright signs are distorted by the raindrops on the window beside me. There is an occasional figure bundled in hoodies or sporting heavy-duty umbrellas. I can hear my mother or father listening to radio.
Although, while I'm sitting in the backseat of my father's car, the memory is different. I can still hear the pounding rain and the radio over the lull of my iPod, but I can now hear other things. Mockery for one. I detect a cruel snicker beyond my earbuds as my father disrespectfully points out a woman's negative traits. He always does this. Everyone does. And that's why, as I'm writing this, I'm thoroughly convinced. I am not human.
Yeah... it's kinda boring. But I'd appreciate if you gave me feedback. -
It's cool.
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I like it. It sounds like a very good start.
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I love the opening. Something so simple as rain makes it more dramatic, making the reader (me at this moment) wonder about the connection. It sounds like you're gearing up to establish it as a symbol, and I hope you'll continue with that in some way, shape, or form.
I don't think it's boring because I think that slightly gloomy mood formed by the almost rhymatic, fragmented thoughts matches perfectly with your imagery of a dreary, rainy day.
Oh no >.< I've started analyzing... been doing too much English class recently -
Its really intresting. Not at all boring. I like your writing style. FYI I like rain so much.
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redawn Newbieno it's interesting..it's just to disconnected. very wild very gripping, but you gotta close the gaps pretty quick. lol right another paragraph just as good and it'll be perfect
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