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- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:17pm
Thread Topic: No Subject
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The skin against agains skin, of the pads of my palms to the clipped claws of my fingers, the poke, and prod.
The tight waist-band of my jeans like a small rubber band around an inflated balloon. Too tight, too tight, squeezing.
I count carbs and calories, and eat less and less then yesterday, then Tuesday, then Friday, until I'm 15 pounds lighter, but the slight bulge stays around my belleybutton.
Gangrene? Constapation? Inflammtion? Internal bleeding? The simple terms I've learned in school or read in books baracade me until one stops me cold, the washes me warm, and my hands tingle and my scalp prickle.
P....
Junior year of high school, AP classes, mostly likely to suceed, all of this, so easily gone.
r...
I check the calendar.
e...
A missed period.
g....
Must be because I'm under weight. I'll eat and carbo-load like in track. No, trans fat and high cholestoral load to gain back 17 pounds.
n.....
A drive to the pharmacy and back.
a.....
Just to make sure, grab two, or three.
n....
no.
t. -
+ + +
Lined up like little stars in the sink. Pink stars blurring in my vision.
I kick the shower, then the water, and smash my head against the window. It thuds and thuds but doesn't shatter, or shatter my skull...
I cry and call, and call some more to a busy tone, and cry myself to sleep, after I through them away.
I don't want it, this thing that sleeps and walks with me, and eats what I give it.
i dont want to
be responsible
for this
tiny thing
that will
be like me -
Um...
-
Woah.
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xD Sorry!
I had a dream Thursday night about being pregnant 0.e
It was sooooooo creepy! And I had to write it out so...I should've said "IGNORE THIS THREAD" xD
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