deception in disguise (temp title name)
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 20, '25 3:54am
Thread Topic: deception in disguise (temp title name)
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old story concept i had started, kinda want to pick it back up, ngl-
so here we go lol -
deception in disguise
chapter 1, part 1-
"So, are you excited for college?" Hunter's mother asked, looking up from her laptop.
I looked over, brushing stray strands of hair out of my face. "Excited as any teenager who's ready to move out could be," I replied with a low chuckle as I walked over to a display. I reached over and grabbed a pot with a bundle of carnations inside, walking them over to the storefront window. It's not that I didn't enjoy school, because I did. Probably solely because I was the smartest out of almost my entire school, but it made me well liked, unlike the mathlete nerds. I wasn't the most popular but at least people could somewhat tolerate me. "I'm just glad I can be with people who get me, who understand me and like the things I like." I sighed as I set down the pot, leaning my arms against the display and putting my body weight on the glass.
I glanced over when my mother cleared her throat, realizing the look I had on my face. I stood up straight and put on a smile, folding my hands in front of me. "But uh, of course I'll be back in town for the wedding!" He spoke, nodding his head.
"You said you'd stay home until the wedding, remember?" His mother said, leaning back against the wall with her arms crossed. "And that you'd let your teachers know that you'd do your classes virtual until then??"
I winced, squinting my eyes and turning my head away. "Riiight, I did say that," I muttered, covering my mouth with my hand.
My mother sighed and leaned forward in her seat, standing and walking around the counter to me. She grabbed my hands, gently squeezing them. "Hun, I know you want to get out of here as soon as possible, but you know how important this is to me," she spoke softly, looking up at me. A gentle, worried smile appeared on her face and I exhaled, looking away for a moment before smiling.
"Fine, I suppose I could stay," I responded with a quiet laugh, squeezing my mother's hands. "For you and Roy, of course."
My mother laughed for a moment, letting go of my hands and wrapping her arms around me. "Thank you, sweetie~" she murmured softly, holding me close.
"Of course, Mom," I replied, smiling gently as I kissed her cheek.
"Oh, and that reminds me," my mother added, leaning back slightly to meet eyes with me. "You're going to be meeting Cait on Friday when she and Roy come down!"
I groan, shaking my head. Great, more socializing. So fun. -
(here's the original thread)
As someone who's been obsessed with problem solving, it gets me into a ton of trouble. I remember the first time I solved "The Mystery of The Stolen Lunch Box", my childhood best friend was the victim of circumstance. His lunch was stolen and I hunted for that thing like my life depended on it. A day or two later I had figured out it was actually not stolen, but lost, and was left behind the huge oak tree in the school's playground. Since then, I've always been into solving "mysteries", and it's been, basically my life long dream, to become a detective or private investigator. If only other people saw my talents, knew that I was far more capable than I seemed. I could solve three times as many cases as any famous private investigator. Unfortunately, I am now banned from coming to the police asking about murder cases, but that doesn't stop me, and my friends.
Before long, I look up from my phone at the doors to a tall building before reaching to grab the handle, pulling the door open and walking inside. I walk past the front desk, nodding at the lady sitting by a laptop. I headed towards the stairs and climb up two flights before turning down a hallway, heading to the last door on the corridor. I rapped my knuckles against the wood three times and the door quickly opened, hands grabbing me and dragging me inside. I yelped in surprise as I'm moved to be seated, a folder dropped into my lap.
"Look at this, Hunter!" One of my friends, Elliot spoke, pointing violently at the folded vanilla folder. "Trust us when we say this, it's newsworthy," commented another friend, Marco, sitting down beside me.
"Really?" I asked skeptically. "The last time we managed to get an update on info for this case was months ago, and it never added up." I opened the folder and scanned the papers and photos. "Old, old, old- Oh, this is the new stuff?" I paused as I read through the information, my eyes widening. "Okay, hold up-"
"See? Your gears are turning, you're working it out, aren't you??" Said my friend Eloise, sitting on my other side and grabbing onto my arm.
I turned red as I slowly nodded, tensing under her hold. "Y-Yeah, I- I think so," I muttered softly, reading through the info. "If if wasn't Josie's husband who killed her, which would make sense considering the two were having issues recently," I contemplate aloud, furrowing my brows with my gaze locked on the papers in my hand. "It'd make sense for Veronika, the ex's crazy girlfriend, to be the killer, right? But it couldn't have been her. I mean, Josie's ex would have dumped her psychotic ass as soon as possible if he knew, and she doesn't seem like the person to brag about something like that anyways." I paused, scanning the pages again. "Not likely to be the ex either, he genuinely seemed upset to hear she passed. Which did not make the girlfriend happy," he added with a chuckle, earning a laugh from his friends.
"So, if not the fiancé," Elliot spoke. "...and it wasn't the crazy girlfriend," Marco added, crouching in front of Hunter, resting his arms on his knees. "Then..." Eloise started, pausing and turning to stare at the wall for a few moments. She hummed softly before gasping, turning back to me. "It couldn't be that one guy, right? The guy who was high, who came and asked to use her phone??" I paused as I registered what Eloise said before smiling, the realization hitting.
"It's got to be him, right?! And they said that when she would go to bars, she would always see him!" I added, nodding as I turned back to the folder. "So he was the killer! God, it should have been obvious!" Elliot exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.
"See? I was right!" Marco shouted, standing up and crossing his arms. "I knew it, and y'all were like, 'Nah, you trippin'-, Marco!'"
Eloise giggled, leaning against my side and grabbing my arm. "Yeah, yeah, like you knew."
"Well, I suggested it, a--hole!" I chuckled and shook my head, trying to ignore the blush creeping onto my face. "I suppose we should go down to the investigation office tonight? Submit our theory??"
"Hell yeah!!" Elliot exclaimed, jumping up. "Now, I think this calls for a celebration. Round of beer for everyone!!" "Dude, you know you're the only one who can drink, right?" Eloise commented, pointing at the red head. "Damn right, so I better not catch y'all drinking 'n crap."
I shook my head as I stood up, closing the folder in my hands. "I'll get us some sodas," Eloise offered, standing and walking into Elliot's kitchen. I nodded as I watched her walk off, a small smile on my face. I lingered on her and the others for a moment before pulling out my phone, checking my messages from my mother. I sighed, pocketing it and dropping the folder on the couch before slipping out of the room. I closed the front door and looked down at the call ID, picking up. -
deception in disguise.
chapter 1, pt 3.
"Hello?" I spoke into the microphone of my phone, holding the phone up to my ear. No response, other than a static-like noise, like a broken television. "Hello??" I replied again, leaning against the door behind me. Still, no response. Now, though, there was some other noise, like a chair sliding across the floor or something similar. I huffed as I pulled the phone away from my ear, going to end the call. "God, third time in the past two weeks?" Then suddenly, a quiet voice whispered into the microphone of the phone. "Mind your own damn business, kid, or else you'll end up dead." I flinched, yanking the phone away from my ear and ending the call.
I shuddered and pocketed the phone, exhaling shakily. "That can't be a coincidence, especially after getting so many calls last month." I crossed my arms, contemplating nervously for a moment. "Why am I getting the silent calls, and how am I not able to track the locations of the calls?? It's like it's from a new phone every time," I grumbled, shaking my head as I stood up, turning around and entering the room again. I jolted to a stop, almost running into Eloise.
"Oh! There you are," she said with a gentle smile, holding out a glass of water. "I thought you left already. Here's your water!"
I nodded in appreciation, taking the glass. "Thank you," I responded slowly, getting lost in my thoughts.
Eloise frowned, grabbing my free hand in hers. She squeezed gently, looking up at me. "C'mon, H! Quit worrying, we've solved the mystery, right??"
Shaking myself from my thoughts, I nodded, giving her a not-so-reassuring smile. "Yeah, right."
"Hunter," she spoke sternly, squeezing my hand again, making eye contact with me. I winced slightly before sighing, looking away. I could never stand eye contact, always made me jittery and more anxious that normal. "Come on, you know you can tell me anything," she added, smiling gently.
I exhale, letting go of her hand. I held my glass with both hands, staring at the water. "Do you remember those 'silent phone calls' i kept getting back in March?" I asked, looking up at Eloise. She nodded, leaning forward on her toes. "Well, I keep getting them," I muttered, taking a swig of my water before continuing. "It's always the same time, and the same sounds, but this time around, I heard noises. Noises like someone was moving a chair around a room, or something like that." Eloise nodded slowly, watching Hunter where he stood, his hands starting to shake. "I- I heard a voice." He spoke wearily, almost choking on his words. "It- It said that, uh, if I don't mind my own business, I'll- I'll end up dead."
"What?!" Eloise exclaimed, putting her hands on my shoulders. I used my free hand to cover her mouth, glaring nervously at her.
"El, be quiet," I muttered before quickly moving my hand. "Look, do not, under any circumstances, tell the others, okay?" I asked, taking another shaky sip of my water. "I need to figure this out more before they know, alright? And if this gets to my mother, I'm really dead."
Eloise sighed and nodded, crossing her arms. "Just- promise me you'll be careful, okay?" She asked, looking up at me with watery eyes, a worried expression plastered on her face. I exhale and nod, a small reassuring smile appearing on my face. "I promise." Eloise smiled and hugged Hunter, clinging to him. He blushed hard, gently hugging her back with a giddy grin on his face. He felt his phone buzz and he flinched, praying it wasn't that same number. -
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