Can I get comments on this?
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:36pm
Thread Topic: Can I get comments on this?
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I couldn't find any poems that were written already that fit me so I wrote one for myself. Please tell me what's good about it, what's not so good, how I can fix it up, and maybe on a scale of 1-10 rate it for me.
In This Other Land
Every day I sit down and play in a world
That's not quite the same as our own
See, in this other land war is the same
Where anyone who fights will not take the blame
See, in this other land you can take many paths
Which is not easily done in our lives
Yet no matter which game I start with in my day
It reminds me that life is not faraway
For with every new level I'm reminded of age,
And with every new character I see all my friends
See, in this other land I can still find joy
Though it's not always easy, oh boy!
See, in this other land I can always return
To a world that can be destroyed and burn
Though no matter which world I am in at any time,
No matter what enemies or sins I fight
There's one thing that matters the most
I can be me in any game almost!
So while I take a break from the other world I play in,
I know in my heart that in both worlds, I might not always win
And perhaps that is just how it's meant to be for me,
For I know that a princess will not always get her knight,
And a teenager will not always get what she desires
But I, a true gamer, know that my values are what never expire
So while I type and type with all of my might
And pretend that I wish to be in a virtual land
I whisper to myself about how I can be free
In any world; as long as I stay as me -
10
That's deep. I actually really liked it Cx
(I'm not just saying it, I actually do like it) -
I r8 8/8 m8.
Gom- 5 out of 10 -
Random101 NoviceThis is really good.
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