Excerpt.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:34pm
Thread Topic: Excerpt.
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At the beginning of the excerpt you were talking about Leo and the other zodiacs in their battle positions. You see, it's important to clarify in your story who is who. Like IHLAOY said, why didn't the excerpt contain more information about each individual character? What is your non-zodiac character doing in a zodiac story? I know nothing about Augustus except her name and gender. You need to specify, otherwise you'll have people being left confused.
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This seems to happen with you a lot, from what I've seen in your writings. You need to make sure that what you write makes sense. The words need to be used properly; verbs as verbs; adjectives as adjectives. Instead of focusing on making it seem fancy and descriptive, focus on moving the story forward, and giving it purpose. Purpose is far more important than using big words as often as you can. Those words come off as rather pointless to us readers, when overused.
There are many little errors in this piece starting in the very first sentence. It would be easy to fix them, or get someone else to proofread it for you. It's also important to pick a tense and stick with it. If you are writing in past tense, try not to mix it with present.
One of the most important things in writing is to make sure your reader knows what's going on and can understand very easily. Seems what you tried to do here was impress, rather than actually communicate a story.
There is no reason to be ashamed in receiving constructive criticism. I do feel you are somewhat of a natural for your age. Don't feel disheartened, instead take what we are saying and use it to your advantage. -
Thank you, Rhimicha.
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You're welcome. I look forward to seeing you grow as a writer and an artist. I used to have to the same problem as you do with taking criticism, and it would always hurt my feelings and bruise my confidence (us Leos and our pride xD), but it gets easier once you know that the people who give criticism, are really just trying to help, usually.
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Most people on here discriminate me though.
And I feel like I won't grow as an artist and a writer, I just can't seem to write my emotions and ny imagination. Any tips for that? :I -
I've noticed. Best to just ignore the ones who aren't nice about it, or who have no tact ;-;
Continue studying art and literature. Once you've got the knowledge of it all, you'll easily be able to manifest what's in your mind. -
Hm, are you a writer/artist yourself?
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I do consider myself a writer at heart, since I've been doing that since I was 7, but I'm not as confident where art is concerned.
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You draw?
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Everyone now and then, but not very often ^-^'
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