A Lucky Soul
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:32pm
Thread Topic: A Lucky Soul
-
Nature NoviceDo you have a BBM? If you have, then, can you send me your pin?
-
Nature NoviceOkay, then, how can I contact you in other way?
-
Nature NoviceOkay... How to explain that stallion is a man, because not everyone knows that. Give this sign? ~> /
-
Sorry, I don't really have any contacts. I try to keep my presence on the internet low, so I don't even have an email address.
Anyway, you can totally use Simple Past and Continuous Past together. There are subtle differences between the two, but they're similar enough that most people won't even notice the change.
Also, you shouldn't need to explain the stallion is a man. Think about it. Your character calls him her father. You describe him with male pronouns. His description should ideally be strong enough to show he's a man. You don't need to explicitly state something so obvious. -
Nature NoviceAnyway, you can totally use Simple Past and Continuous Past together. There are subtle differences between the two, but they're similar enough that most people won't even notice the change
How about Past Perfect?? -
Nature NovicePersonal gripe here, but why are you using first person if you're not going to use any of the advantages it provides? Where's the character's line of thought? Where's the train of logic they follow? Why write in first person if you're just going to treat it like third person?
Just read it over and found something again.. Sorry if you're bored with my question. But could you give me an example???
Maybe there would be more of my new questions... Sorry!! -
Nature NoviceHow to show that he is stroking my mane?
Can I use this?
His face tone changed into a softened one. He released a soft sight trough his nostril and lifted a hoof. He put his hoof back to the ground and slowly made his way to me. His lips curled upwards a bit when he reached me. He lifted his left forehoof and slowly moved it to my face. He touched my mane and gently brushed his hoof down to my face. I found that his warm hoof comforted me a bit. He stopped after few centimeters and retract his hoof a bit and put it on the place where he start quickly and brushed down again. He retract his hoof again and brushed again and again and again........ (Going to the slapping part 'til end)
Is that correct? Or almost? Or not at all??
Maybe there would be more of my new questions... Sorry!! Just say it if you're bored of answering my questions. But if you don't, I will keep asking important questions that I will find if I re-think and remember your comment anywhere. Especially school. -
Nature Noviceand lifted a hoof. He put his hoof back to the ground
I believe this part isn't important. -
Nature NoviceWhat kind of iambic pentameter am I supposed to use for this poem? I tried all the usual ones and I'm coming up dry. It's almost like you don't have one at all, but that's ridiculous, because that would imply you know less than nothing about writing poems and even poems in general.
Well, no, I suppose while it is true that not all poems have one, I think it says something about their effectiveness when every single notable poem in history has had one. You could almost objectively judge a poem based on its pentameter.
I mean, Jabberwocky had one.
The Road Not Taken had one.
The Garden of Proserpine had one. And it also had the added benefit of talking about the exact same subject matter.
Good art builds on the lessons and teachings of the art before it. Modern artists learned from the Renaissances, Renaissances artists learned from Romans, the Romans learned from the Greeks (I admit I'm a little dim here,) and so on and so forth. If art fails to learn from the examples of it's predecessor, I feel safe objectively calling it s--- art.
Like, what am I supposed to appreciate here? It can't be the words, because those are misspelled and vomited onto the page. It can't be the rhyme scheme or the pentameter or anything clever like that because it doesn't exist. It can't be the message, because that has the depth of the hole I dug for my dead niece and is so cliche Poe is spinning in his grave. What is there to like? What is there to appreciate? Please, tell me if I'm missing something, because I honestly can't find a single redeeming quality to your work. At this point I'd say something like 'at least none of the words are misspelled,' but I can't even say that.
(But I'm going to be honest with you, and give you a compliment. I wish I could post what you do. I really do. I wish I could post a misspelled, brainless, barely formatted post to everyone on Earth, literally everyone, without caring if anyone thinks I'm an idiot. That sounds like bliss. So congrats?)
I have a poem only for you IHLAOY
What kind of soul are you
I never see a living like that
That cold heart of yours
Froze other people's
That frozen heart of yours
Took other people's chance
You know less then nothing
To deal with me
Because
That frozen heart of yours
Needs to be repaired
And if you don't
We need to break it.
That is a bad poem because I was holding myself from writing bad words. But, that can contain all of my emotions about you. You think too perfect. You act like a god. You never give a chance to other. Your heart is really cold. Cold, until it could shake me to the core...
Wuahhhh... I wouldn't dare to erase the letters I have typed. And I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, IHLAOY. -
Your f---ing weird man xD
But anywau ihlaoy xD seriously? No email? How old are you? I guessed you were a young adult..20ish...how do you get s--- done with no email xD you need one for like 88 percent of everything people our age (or what i thought was our age?) Do xD -
Nature NoviceI have no email
-
Yeah but yoyr a kid
-
Nature NoviceThen?
-
Nature NoviceThen?
-
Then theres a lot less you might need to use an email for
Pages:
- 1
- 2
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
