a new poem
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:32pm
Thread Topic: a new poem
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shadows run after me as i cry my laife blood away..im falling through the mirror glass floating around my in the abis..i cry out for help but not a sound is heared...my memorys drag me down to the bottom of my mind...its qwiet here....but so lonly and dark...i cant come back up for air......a rose is just a rose..frost covers it and freezes it in time...but its dead..for sorrow is to the rose as death is to the bud...forever in death is the part..
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What kind of iambic pentameter am I supposed to use for this poem? I tried all the usual ones and I'm coming up dry. It's almost like you don't have one at all, but that's ridiculous, because that would imply you know less than nothing about writing poems and even poems in general.
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its not supost to have one....not all poems have them...plz stop assuming that it needs one or should have one or has one that u dont see...
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Well, no, I suppose while it is true that not all poems have one, I think it says something about their effectiveness when every single notable poem in history has had one. You could almost objectively judge a poem based on its pentameter.
I mean, Jabberwocky had one.
The Road Not Taken had one.
The Garden of Proserpine had one. And it also had the added benefit of talking about the exact same subject matter.
Good art builds on the lessons and teachings of the art before it. Modern artists learned from the Renaissances, Renaissances artists learned from Romans, the Romans learned from the Greeks (I admit I'm a little dim here,) and so on and so forth. If art fails to learn from the examples of it's predecessor, I feel safe objectively calling it s--- art.
Like, what am I supposed to appreciate here? It can't be the words, because those are misspelled and vomited onto the page. It can't be the rhyme scheme or the pentameter or anything clever like that because it doesn't exist. It can't be the message, because that has the depth of the hole I dug for my dead niece and is so cliche Poe is spinning in his grave. What is there to like? What is there to appreciate? Please, tell me if I'm missing something, because I honestly can't find a single redeeming quality to your work. At this point I'd say something like 'at least none of the words are misspelled,' but I can't even say that.
(But I'm going to be honest with you, and give you a compliment. I wish I could post what you do. I really do. I wish I could post a misspelled, brainless, barely formatted post to everyone on Earth, literally everyone, without caring if anyone thinks I'm an idiot. That sounds like bliss. So congrats?) -
look....if anything my work is a out let for my bipolar nature and the deprestion im trying to fight with out meds. so maby its not *prase worthy..* but do not insult me or my work...i am haveing anof problems with out someone like you f---ing it up even more...people are not supost to shut others down...but build them up...if you canot understand this then plz just ignore my posts...or i will report
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Please, report me. I'd like to see whatever thin ass excuse you'd cook up for it. I'm fairly sure 'he criticized me,' isn't a bannable offense. Being criticized is a part of life, and it's borderline unhealthy to retreat to a hugbox whenever it happens.
I'm just trying to say, is it really so hard to at least make your work readable? To give it one sign that you actually give a s--- about your work? This could be read by everyone from the Pope to Obama to grandmother. For the love of God, at least try to make it something worth reading. -
BabyChocolate NewbieCalm down guys no need to fight.
It was a bit rude of how you said it yes you can criticize but to take it over the top and call her work utter crap is takeing it to another level. (Ihlaoy)
And...Neonrainz keep doing what you love to do,you may be going threw something right now and this helps you so keep doing it.Yes I agree you can work on a few things but who cares its about expressing how you feel threw your writing. Kepp your head up high and a smile on your face...You will be okay XD
Hope both of you will be Okay :) -
Nature NoviceIHLAOY, do you understand what his poem means? I do. And it's a good poem. And you have one thing right, my dear. The way he write it is bad and he lost some letter. But I love the poem.
It's about loneliness for being dead and the frozen rose in a grave. Also, the sorrowfulness of death. -
Nature NoviceIHLAOY, do you understand what his poem means? I do. And it's a good poem. And you have one thing right, my dear. The way he write it is bad and he lost some letter. But I love the poem.
It's about loneliness for being dead and the frozen rose in a grave. Also, the sorrowfulness of death.
IHLAOY, you are a perfectionisme person.
You may be perfect, but we are not. You may correct us, but don't give bad things to read.
you know less than nothing about writing poems and even poems in general
What if you happen to be the one who write the poem? How will you feel? That's what he feel. -
No nature.. no. Its really not a good poem at all.
And yes, we all understand what it means, because its the same poem every angsty kid with a keyboard writes.
No offence to present company, but ilhaoy actually just inescapablely correct in questioning "what is there for me to appreciate?".
Shes being a jerk about being a better writer because this trite stupid stuff ends up getting written everywhere and yes, it is annoying, and yes ilhaoy is only human with a human level of patience for things.
In this case, it would behoove you to suck it up and pay attention to what she said.
If you want to write to ease yiur "bipolar nature" then have the balls to call it what it is. Gibberish. Not poetry
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