For all you writers out there.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:28pm
Thread Topic: For all you writers out there.
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Veronica_v NewbieI would read the story.
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@TCS - I seen I edited. I was just giving an example of what he might want to do. --_--
As I may have said, this needs a bit more of description, and, as people have said, grammar and all. It doesn't really say any-thing for the setting other than the fact the (main?) character is in some type of prison.
Other than that, I feel this is going well. -
Thanks for all the help guys ^_^
Well it's supposed to be a prologue. The characters have not been introduced, because this is just a beginning. This was sorta just a rough draft for what I have to write for english class, a whole novel but the prologue is due. So thanks for all the feedback you have given me, and i will be sure to edit it and post it.
@IHLAOY: Don't call Luna Siren and Manders crazy for their opinions. They are my friends plus they were only showing what they thought. -
Well sorry for your OC Maru D:
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IHLAOY NewbieI have yet to say mean words yet, Firefly, because feedback is inherently neutral.
Saying that 'it's is just a prologue, it doesn't need to be good,' is horrifying. It's an excuse for laziness. It's an excuse for not being able to build a setting. If you can't even write a prologue, how can you expect to write the main story?
Yes Luna, it is supposed to introduce the character and setting, which is what I'm arguing for. It doesn't introduce the setting, this story could take place in the year 100000X on the planet Flurb 8 or it could take place in the middle ages, we have nothing to go on. There is no setting. And the only named characters are Darius, a man who probably died brutally and like a coward, and The Master, the popular villain from Doctor Who. (And while you could claim that we are meant to root for the unnamed person, I want you to bear in mind that he hasn't said or done ANYTHING yet, only monologued in his thoughts.)
Like I said, it's a premise. It's two guys sitting on a couch, and one turns to the other and says, "Hey Frank, wouldn't it be interesting if the heroes lost?" And then Frank pauses the movie and goes, "It depends, what hero?"
You need to give us something to work on. -
Darius forgives, Doddle. U.U Besides, it's apparently a pretty common name. x3
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IH - Your feedback isn't neutral at all. I understand that you want to voice your opinions but you are being mean about it. If you think his writing skill is horrible, there is a polite way to say that, without blatantly insulting him and his writing. I actually agree with what you said in your last post, about the setting and such, but I think you could be able to find a kinder way to say the other things you've said. I also agree with what you said about the prologue, but I don't agree with how you said it at all. Don't say "it's a horrifying exuse for laziness". That's rude, and mean. Try to make your point without insulting.
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@ihlaoy honestly it's supposed to be mysterious. The point is we don't know the backround or anything because it's a prologe. Um.
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IHLAOY NewbieWhere have I insulted him? Believe me, I have tried my hardest to remain neutral, but I am not going to trade legibility for politeness. I am going to tell him his mistakes in a way that is easily understood; and how you interpret that is where I see this misunderstanding coming from. How do you propose I point out the problem with the mentioned excuse, ('it's a prologue,') without pointing out exactly what the problem with it is? Are you sure you're not just used to people censoring themselves?
Wolf, there are ways to be mysterious while still building a setting. There are ways to be mysterious and develop a character. But can you honestly tell me that removing setting, character, most dialogue, descriptions and answers is the best way to build mystery? That it's the best way to start a prologue? That it's a good thing at all? (And while it may be appropriate under certain circumstances, those are very specific in and of themselves.) What are we left with if we remove these things? Prose. Prose and a premise.
Simply saying 'it's a prologue' to justify having no worth is lazy. If anything, the prologue should be the most important and well written part of a book. It's the first thing a person reads, it's your first impression of a book. It's supposed to be a lens with which to view the rest of the novel. For gods sake, what you write for a prologue is the impression the reader will carry with them for the rest of the book. Don't just say it's a prologue as justification when prologues are srs bsns. -
My first impression of the book is that I am interested and want to read more.
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Yes, well, IHLAOY, would you like it if I reasonably criticized your speeches, but told you they were only 2 paces away from a piece of s---? I doubt it.
You are basically doing that. "Saying that 'it's is just a prologue, it doesn't need to be good,' is horrifying. It's an excuse for laziness. It's an excuse for not being able to build a setting. If you can't even write a prologue, how can you expect to write the main story?" is not the best damned way to say some-thing. And you don't need " to trade legibility for politeness".
The way you are saying it is not simply legit, it's reasonable yet demeaning. I don't think those two words go together, but you get it. You are criticizing parts that do need work on, then tell the writer that they have no skill and should just give it up since they're just a dumb-ass when it comes to writing, just because they can't make a perfect piece in one shot. Alert the media when your not so much of an ass. -
IHLAOY NewbieBy all means, if you want to criticize my speeches, go ahead. If I made a mistake logical mistake somewhere in them, I would really prefer someone tell me rather than stroke my ego. (Plus, aren't you already doing that?)
And again, I honestly do not think I have insulted anyone here. That is not my intention, and I apologize if you take offense. But I stand by what I have said. It is a valid point, it is not offensive. If you cannot write a prologue, how can you write a main story? I am not trying to call you a dumb---, or imply you need to be a perfect in one shot, I am pointing out the problems in the argument 'it's a prologue.' That is all I am doing.
Where have I implied you had no skill? I have said you have a premise. Nothing more, nothing less. If you want to prove me wrong, feel free to explain your design choices. Hell, I'll even start for you.
Joker, why is it that you have no characters? Was this intentional, and if so, why?
Joker, what is the setting here? Can you at least give us a date? Or a location? Or something?
Was it your intention to be mysterious?
(Also, it is you're, not your. Alert the media when you're not so much of an ass. And I wouldn't do that anyway, I don't want to get shot.) -
IHLAOY Newbies---, repeated myself, you get the idea.
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Okay, you're starting to piss me off now. it's a prologue' to justify having no worth is lazy. If anything, the prologue should be the most important and well written part of a book. It's the first thing a person reads, it's your first impression of a book. It's supposed to be a lens with which to view the rest of the novel. For gods sake, what you write for a prologue is the impression the reader will carry with them for the rest of the book.". What use do you get over insulted me over the internet? Two, i find it plain rude on what you have written over there.
What if someone said "This novel is a piece of crap, get back to your s---hole" to you? Well, you'd get back to your rock and start crying. I didn't blubber but it's just plain rude what you have written there. Just leave my thread if you can't give criticism without insults. -
IHLAOY NewbieI...I honestly have no words. I don't understand where I'm insulting you. Please, point it out to me, I'm dumb; just show me where it is! Is it the lazy part? Is it the god part? I'm not trying to insult you, I'm giving my view on the importance of a properly written prologue. A good prologue can make or break a readers impression of a book.
If someone told me my work was crap, I'd ask them what they found wrong with it. If they didn't reply back, I'd ignore them. Blatant flaming is not worth my time or energy, and it shouldn't be worth yours either. Hell, I know what it's like to have someone dislike your work; I know you desperately want to ignore what I'm saying here, but as a writer you need to press on! You need to understand that I'm not trying to insult you, I am telling you the mistakes you've made. And if you can't separate the two, you're never going to get far as an artist.
Besides, I don't live on a rock, that's crazy. I built my house on sand, as per the bible says.
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