I'm sick and I've been writing
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:27pm
Thread Topic: I'm sick and I've been writing
-
It seems a bit long but I quite like the end so if you''d trudge through the beginning, I'd be much obliged xP
All you want to do is speak with them but you can't. Not only because they're far, far away, but any conversation you have with them now will never be what you had with them then. The years between you have dulled the commotion which used to fill your voices as you talked over one another, desperate to let the other know whatever came onto your mind because you knew that they would accept it, however odd or extraordinary or ridiculous it was, and that they would accept you.
I once believed that somehow by some divine act they had been given the gift of being able to answer to anything- to throw a helpful remark, to grant my wish if I needed one granted, and to deny me any sense of hope if i was indeed slipping in the wrong direction. They were impossibly brilliant and forthright and caring.
But the silence and the outright stupid awkwardness is proof that we'll never be what we were. Whatever extraordinary gift we'd been given, we rejected, proof of our own idiotic arrogance. Proof of our own self pity as we began to focus on our little pains and speak less and busy ourselves more with our sad, little lives, instead of accepting our own wonderful little cure, which was given off after every conversation and left me whole and healed and happy as I lay in bed at night and all the problems that had irked my slumber the night before were gone and for once in my life, ever night after a conversation with you, I didn't worry.
If I could step into that room again, younger, happier, and if you could stand just off to the left, like you do, I'd throw away my entire future- I'd give up every bit of any sort of prosperity in my fate, any success, any accomplishment just to speak to you like we used to. Just to tell you what's been happening to me, and what I think about what's going on around us, in the atmosphere, in the room, in the world, just let me tell you everything, outline everything, and if you want to dash it all away, please, please do it. Dash my dreams against those rocks, drown me in the cove, but dear god please say it like you used to, because nothing you can do to me, no guilt or sorrow you perturb me with will ever amount to the loss I feel of not hearing your voice rise and fall, covering mine, sweeping us both out to sea until no words are able to be determined, until all we are are two waves beating desperately against the shore, hoping to pull some speck of gold out of the trillions of distant pieces of worthless sand which fill our hourglasses everyday. Once more, let me believe that I'm worth listening to and that one wave does indeed make an ocean and that the gold in that sand isn't my imagination, make me believe in gold when none is seen along the shore. Give me a metal detector, give me a shovel, tell me to dig my own grave i will, find treasure and I'll give it up, just as long as you speak to me. I once believed i could do this and you listened to me speak. But you're not here. I don't know where in this world, beneath the ground or above, you lie your head. And I'll never know, and you'll never say. -
Klilly NewbieThat was great!
-
It's beautiful... I love it.
-
The end was beautiful! It was so emotional and descriptive. You'd be good at romance :)
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
