A little taste of adulthood.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:27pm
Thread Topic: A little taste of adulthood.
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It was a crisp moonlight in the fallen season. Leaves were rapidly changing and when they were ready, the leaves would break from their stems and be set free, falling into the winds of hopes and maturity.
Well, that's what was happening to Mkenzie. She was turning eighteen tonight, and she had been longing to be finally making her own choices and to be sent off into the new world to have more privileges. She was an adult now, and her mother wasn't able to smother her anymore. Oh, how great it seemed, but she was soon to figure out that it would be hard.
"Mkenzie! Mkenzie, come have some cake!" the girl's mother called in an orderly sweet tone as a fake smile crept up her face. The old woman was losing her daughter today and she didn't like it, aging all alone. But all she wanted to do was spend the last few moments with her daughter before she broke from her stem, and was set free, falling into the winds of hopes and maturity.
"But Mom!" Mkenzie whined in the old fashion of complaints that children would usually do when they didn't get what they wanted, or what they thought they deserved. "I'm an adult now, you can't tell me what to do!"
"But I'm your mother." frowned Mkenzie's mom, who's green eyes flickered with deep sadness and pools of concern that nearly dripped from her eyes like a coat of maple syrup. "I gave birth to you, and that should give me atleast some slack. You know, I could have aborted you." the woman gave a grin of satisfactory at the word 'aborted', because she knew Mkenzie hated that word most out of all the vocabulary in the English language.
"Shut up!" Mkenzie blurted out with a horrid shriek, racing out the door like a thunderstorm. But before doing so, she stopped, looking behind her shoulder, Mkenzie narrowed her blue eyes hued as the ocean.
"You're nothing but a saggy old woman who feeds off of my sadness. But, too bad, because I won't be here anymore! Tough love, mom!"
Mkenzie then stormed out the door, tears rushing down her rosy red cheeks of health.
To be continued. -
This isn't adulthood, that's whiney teenager. Adulthood is accepting responsibilities and not lashing out just because you feel like it. Other wise, you write pretty well.
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She's not a teenager, she turned eighteen and therefore she's an adult. The series is about Mkenzie becoming an adult and learning about the perks about it, then learning how hard it is and wanting to come back home.
..But thanks. -
I thought she was around that age. So good job with that. I find it really hard to express someone's age in a story without saying it, so gold star on that.
That was really good. ^^' -
She's not a very mature adult. I already hate her. But that's good! I absolutley love stories where I can develop strong feelings about the characters. I'm interested to see where you go with this.
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Thank you for all of the positive comments! I'll be sure to continue once I get home from school tomorrow. ^^'
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Eighteen is the legal age for adulthood but she is still a teen, 8-teen 9-teen it's not until she's 20 that she's no longer a teen and is official an adult.
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(Yes, but..oh well just enjoy it. c:)
Mkenzie ran off.
Her brown, cliquey boots chained with silver charms and aligned with animal furs ring-a-dinged throughout the paths of the sidewalks, taking her to wherever she seemed to choose.
Left, right..right? ..left..
Then she stopped at an unfamiliar place. There were buildings tall enough to scrape through the clouds into the ascends of heaven, and the sirens of cop cars and grunts of passing business people echoed throughout the area.
"Where am I?" Mkenzie wondered aloud immaturely. Her tidal sapphire blue eyes scanned around the landscape impatiently, as she frowned. Sashing the deep chocolate brown hues of hair past her shoulders, she walked around, pangs of curiosity striking through her as she observed each sight.
Then, a large amount of weight ran into her, knocking her down with a single brush of physical contact.
"Watch where you're goin'!" The figure rashed. It was a man. He had a striped suit with a matching hat and a choker sewn in with a pure black crystalline jewel. It was much more distracting--in an amazing way--than the man's face, with wrinkles shaping it, along with the unibrow that curved along his blank grey eyes. His tongue brushed against the structure of a cigar trapped between his yellow teeth. And then, Mkenzie could tell that he was a smoker.
"I-I'm so sorry!" Mkenzie shrieked, getting up.
To be continued. -
Pretty good. Your writing could use a little wor, but impressive for someone your age. Can't wait for the next part.
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that Mkenzie is a real b i t c h. -
Iamcutiemoon13 NewbieGreat
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(Thank you guys! I'll continue soon!)
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It's really good! I love your style of writing :)
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Thank you Ange!
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