How to fix any relationship problem, EVER.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:22pm
Thread Topic: How to fix any relationship problem, EVER.
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Okay, this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don't ask me how you're gonna get a fucking orangutan, because that's not my problem.
So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable; all orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why that is, it's just how the world works. So, you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You're seen everywhere together, you make the scene. you and friends go out in big groups. you talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. it gets back to her.
"Did you know that guy with the orangutan?"
"You used to date that guy with the orangutan?"
"Why'd you break up with the guy with the orangutan?"
Next thing you know, she's calling.
"I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?"
"Geez, I dunno; me and Clyde were going to go to a monster truck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact, the whole social calender seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh, well, you know, you have my number so don't be a stra-- Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's making Mojitoes."
At this point the upper hand is yours. you can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. you're IM-ing. you're talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You're one big Brady Bunch. -
I honestly believe this would work.
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Um...
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You know...that could work.
Quick question though, do we need to dress the orangutan up? -
Nah, orangutan's hate clothes.
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it took me a while to get what this was going at. xD
Sounds like it could work. -
You know, this is SO stupid, that it might possibly work! XD
*no sarcasm* -
*Looks at the ground*
What if he WANTS to wear clothes? Will that make a difference? -
I'm not trying to be a smartass or anything but what if the relationship problem WAS the orangutan?
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This is perfect. This is why I love GTQ
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This is amazing. xD
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fizzy0918 NewbieMost amazing idea ever!!
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Kepler NoviceOh. My. God.
Even with the swear words, this is HILARIOUS. XD
Does it work for a girl with an orangutan or just guys?
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