By The Riverside Part 1 | Comments

It was interesting, and whoa, lucky you, you have a lot of readers for a first time writer :) Grammar-wise, there really isn't too much to complain about; I've seen a lot worse. I saw that you mixed present tense and past (which could just be stylistic since you have past for the past and present for 2012), but at the end, you chose past tense when you were talking about the present character. I kind of confused myself there using past and present too much, but do you get my point? If you could choose one tense and use only that one, it would be great.

For your storyline, I have to disagree with MK39. Cheesy? Mmm, maybe some people could see that at parts, but this is your first story quiz, so it'll take a while to get into the "flow" of your story so to speak. Also, there isn't anything wrong with your medieval setting as long as you sell it (include realistic descriptions, imagery, characterization, etc.)

Now overall, it being your first story quiz, I thought you did a good job :) I see the potential of a good, developing story. My personal suggestions are that you make it just a tad longer and include more detail. My apology for taking up so much comment space >.< I just wanted to make sure I covered everything I wanted to say. Keep going, I'll look out for the following parts!

Wow, this was AMAZING :D and I like medieval times too, Merlin is my favorite. And I also like Gwen. (You know, the queen of Camelot). Have you ever seen The Adventures of Merlin? (aka Merlin). It's like one of my favorite shows. Well, anyways, awesome story, I LOVED it :D

Interesting story but you spoke in the past tense when it would've been better to speak in the present tense. Also I think you have some grammar problems in your story.

@MK39 It doesn't matter that we don't live in the 14th century, it was still REALLY good and authors make books/stories BEFORE the 20th century. It's not an uncommon thing.

pretty interesting it just reminded me i need to work on one of my series Love In The Middle Ages >.> i'm behind.

I do have so few critics but i'm sure they've been covered

excellent...

i do have a few critics for this story though...

1) a bit cheesy, no offence. rad people would think this story's dumb...

2) work on your grammar at the end
3) don't make it too cheesy, dumb or weird...
4) it's a weird story

5) it's NOT REALISTIC!!! ok, WE DON'T LIVE IN THE 14TH CENTURY ANYMORE!!!!!! wow! people won't believe that!

i loooved it! im a fan of the imaginary and make believe stuff so this was awesome! lol you did a very good job.. but the only thing you could do is make it longer! lol buut it will progress within time great job! :D

Really, really good!

Huh, that was fantastic :) Well, I really liked it, it kept me in 100% SUSPENSE the whole time!

Makes my heart beat faster...lol!

This was awesome yo! Can't wait for pt 2

I agree with MK39, this story was UNREALISTIC!

but overall, great quiz...yeah, suspensive? sure... but just non-realistic!

whoa

hahahaha that was an awesoe quiz.!!!

yeah i agree with gherkinsgodhorse it keep me in suspense the whole time reading it!!!!!