The Legend of Eglacieon (part 1) | Comments

I'm kinda sleepy, so sorry if I start not making sense during this comment; I just felt like reading something tonight and figured I'd check out what new talent GTQ had to offer.

First off, I love your control of grammar and spelling! That's always my first impression. The story itself has the setup of a traditional epic quest adventure, so there's this old lore feel to it, in my opinion, and in some ways, that sets it up for multiple clichs, but in other ways, it makes it unique. If I had to critique anything, I would say the flow of the sentences could be improved upon with greater variety of sentence structure (for example: He ran a mile around the neighborhood. He stopped when he saw a car. To : he ran a mile around the neighborhood. A car pulling up the street made him stop.

Except what I wrote both ways is equally boring, and I would much rather be readin more of your work!) For the part overall, it was a bit shorter than my liking (a good reading length for me at this time of night/morning though), but you did a GREAT job for an opening quiz, and I hope you continue to write :)