The Appropriate Physical Contact Quiz

Ah, the simple power of physical contact. Of all the modes of human expression, none is more powerful, more subtle, or more legally actionable. But physical contact can raise just as many problems as it solves in any relationship. Do I owe my grandfather a hug at his wedding, or just a handshake? When I return home from work in the evening and kiss my significant other, should I make it an innocent peck or a full-on tongue attack? And what about going to the movies with my semi-platonic friend? Should I slip an arm around her like a jerk, or just lightly touch her hand like a spaz?

By answering the following questions about a specific person in your life, you can figure out what kind of relationship you're in and thus what kind of physical contact is appropriate. An important note: Don't take the answers too literally. Pick whichever answer best conveys the spirit of your relationship, even if the literal details don't match exactly.