Hogwarts Love Story | Comments

Wow. For someone's first ever quiz, that was really good. You stuck to the traditional second person for your Hogwarts Love Story, although as you progress as a writer you may find you prefer first or third person. I ended up tying myself in knots trying to write in the second person, and I'd lapse into first without thinking...

Enou gh about me! Honestly, you did a really good job. Draco was in-character, which I commend you for. It's hard to keep Draco like he is in the original series when writing a fanfiction, and I have frequently slipped up on that front. Especially at the beginning. You have that under good control. Well done! I can't say much else for characterisation, as we didn't see any other characters from the original series.

You had a pretty good balance between plot, description and dialogue, which is, again, hard to achieve. You showed me that you were good at descriptive writing when you were describing the dementor, and I've had liked to see a bit more of that in the rest of the quiz. You can do it, just give us a bit more. Description is an essential tool to capture your reader's attention. It comes with practise.

One other thing I'd have liked to see a bit more of. Thoughts. I'd like to know what the main character is feeling and thinking, so that I can connect with her. Else, the story seems a bit disjointed. It's important for your readers to be able to sympathise and understand your characters, and for this to happen they need to know about her emotions and thoughts.

Thanks so much for the shout-out. I had no idea you were following my work, but I'm flattered nevertheless! I'm a bit of a torn girl when it comes to which boy I like, it depends on the series, so we'll see who you make me love!

Great start, and I can't wait to see more from you in the future.

XD

Wow awesome quiz can't wait to read the next one:) I know the person who made this quiz and She's awesome and an amazing writer keep up the good work miss Clearwater

Wow! Amazing quiz! I've never taken one like it! GREAT WORK! I got Harry, my quizzes compared to yours are probably HORRIBLE! That quiz was really good, I think I'll take some of vulturemonem's quizzes now.... Bye! (:

Wow! I LOVE the part about me and Draco! Soo romantic!

I loved it can't wait for part two