Magical Love Story | Comments

Tsk, tsk, the story readers are slacking! (including me xD ) This was quite well for you very first story quiz, and I like the way you included little details like Caleb touching my nose with the tip of his finger. There's just one big thing that detracts from that, and it's the pacing. Obviously you don't have to detail every mundane activity that passes in school, but I think that if the story slowed down a little more, the time skips would stop overriding the appeal of the details and allow them to shine through a little more. Don't worry; you don't have to rush and get it all out there - you've got story parts ahead of you where you can do that :) That being said, I hope to see you continue!

Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it. I love writing, but I've never done anything like this before!