Describe your true self
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:13pm
Thread Topic: Describe your true self
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I am shy and introverted, but I have a heart to help people in any way I can. My dad's been in the military all my life so it's pretty much all I know. The moving, the many schools, the absense of my dad and my mom trying to keep everything together. He just got out of the army, with medical probs, and we're trying to adjust to civilian life. It's so different. I love international stuff, especially since I was little and I used to actually think I was from Japan. I want to travel. I love music, writing, art, anime, really just all kinds of creativity.
I don't understand hatred or intolerance very well. I don't like the most popular stuff. I live for freedom. I am an idealist and optimist trying to deal with a harsh world. I am sensitive but strong. I know this is really wrong but I just wanted to get this out, so that at least whoever reads this knows where I'm coming from. -
*really long, not wrong
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Okay this is the true me,
I'm emotional and sensitive(w0w I know)I pretty much get hurt easily,but I just try not to show it or just cover it up with anger and sh1t,but yeah I do care.Really all I want out of life is to have a good job that pays well and a house to live in and maybe even a family,I dunno.I'm into music and art and some litature but my writing is sht so I don't bother trying.I pretty much like to be my own person,not go by trends or anything,I prefur older stuff but some new stuff is cool too I guess.I come ftom a not so great family,hell we're forgeting eachothers names,its kinda sad but honestly it doesnt bother me as much.But i don't really hate them now that i really think about it.
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Sweet I really hope you do get your dreams dude.
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There is allot. I just don't know how to put it in words...
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You probably know some of this this, but I try to hide it. (I'm probably not doing a good job of hiding it, lol)
I am probably the most self-consious person ever. I take everything to heart, and I am a total people-pleaser that gets manipulated easily. I hate thinking about who I am as a person because I know its not good. When I'm alone, all I think about is life so that's why I hate to be alone yet there are times when I totally hate people but still feel the need to be around them. I realized a long time ago that the people I hang around or crush on SUCK, but yet I can't get over them. In fact, truly everyone ends up finding a way in my heart somehow, even the people you'd expect me to want to kill. Sometimes I like feeling physical pain because it's better than emotion pain. I want to know that my life has meaning, and I've been waiting all my life for somebody to tell me I'm important or that I matter, but nobody has said it yet. The only reason why I love reading books, listening to music and watching movies or YouTube is because 1) I enjoy them and 2) I feel like sometimes that stuff is better than reality so I turn to it alot. What I want out to life? Um, to be accepted and to find love. I know this is weird, but another thing I've been waiting for in life is to know that somebody actually loves me.
Wow, I wrote a lot :P -
Wow I relate so much to what you guys wrote. And you deserve better. I made this thread because I know how much we bottle up inside and that no one seems to even know or care about ourselves. I guess we're really not alone we have each other as GTQ family. I have trouble opening up like this is real life honestly, but here I can just write it out and talk to you guys. You guys rock and I'm glad we've all met.
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I wish I wasn't Bi, I wish I could be Straight, just like dudes, but I'm so attracted to a lot of girls, I can't help but love someone although I wish they weren't a girl. It's because being Bi makes me stand out, and a lot of people where I live are Gay, and people take to thinking Gays are stupid or freaks, or lower. So if anybody knew I was Bi, then they'd think lower of me, or think I was a bad person, people think Gays are bad people because they're 'not right' so if anybody knew that I loved a girl then it wouldn't matter if I was the first in my class or the most creative, people would hate me.
Sometimes, I just wish I could close my eyes and say, "Is it over yet?" and open my eyes to 20 years in the past when all that didn't really matter. Or that I was out of wherever I was that I didn't feel comfortable.
I get hurt easily, and when I do. I write depressing poetry, nobody knows I do in real life, or they don't read it and I pour out my emotions in to it. I pretend I'm okay with it all, but I'm actually not okay with it all, I want to cry but I can't, I have so many people who look up to me as the strong one and come to me for comfort, if I started to cry or show I was weak, then they'd have no one.
I just want to let go and just... be nothing, but I've already progressed so much and people think I'm this amazing, smart, creative, funny, shy and sweet person that's just cool, when I'm actually depressed and fed up with life, and just want to pour out my emotions and start to cry... But I can't.
I want to tell someone how I feel, but nobody understands, or the chance never arrises. Whenever there's something with creativity involved, like a contest or something, I'm the first to be picked. But they don't realize that the miserable story/Poem I give them is actually based on real life and all the emotion I face.
People don't realize that creativity is based on emotion, if you face an emotion every day of your life and feel it with such strength, then you can be creative to the full extent, and be the best. You can write something dark and depressing, but it's actually what you feel. The more you feel, the more able you are to do something great. -
I don't have anything to say about myself, and I honestly dont give a crap about you guys.
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Nobody said you had to.
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